Has anyone here every thought about what if there happened to be a god. It doesn't really matter what god or what religion just if there is one. When you die what do you think they/him/her would say and how you would react? If they were a god that passed judgment, do you think that they would understand your reasons for not believing and forgive you or would they punish you without question?

I was raised Christian and while I don't believe anything they say, the above still crosses my mind quite often. I'm a musician and I get a lot of gigs playing for church services, especially around Christmas and Easter. It's hard not to listen to the sermon and try to understand their way of thinking during these times and these questions always pop into my mind during and after the service.

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Yes, my spur-of-the-moment invention. I'm a little proud of it actually!

I expect many of you will know of these versions:

The Atheist's Prayer

Our Father,
Which aren't in heaven,
Hollow be thy name,
Thy kingdom's done,
Thou willt be gone,
From earth and leave us untethered,
Living each day our daily dread,
And forgo us our distresses,
For we relive those dispensed against us,
Leave the rotting complications,
And deliver us our freewill,
For mine is this freedom,
On the hour of this story,
Forever endeavor.
The Museum of Religion and Atheism
(Dream Street, Paradise East)


The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage's,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For Thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever, Barmen.

{Source Unknown}


The Worm Prayer

Our father
who aren't in heaven,
Hollow be thy name.
Thy kingdom dead,
thy will be read.
On earth as if there were a heaven.
Give us this day our daily dream
and deliver us from reality.
For thine is the falsehood,
the corruption
and the Horror
forever and ever

Christian D. Seaver, "The Book of Worm"

I need that on my Atheist Comedy Stage Group as it fits perfect, the prayer that is from Jo Jerome.
I will have you know that MY Jesus has already forgiven your war-mongering, greedy, Republican Jesus.
Okay, everyone's else has taken a shot at this, so I might as well....


Yo, Daddy
Who is somewhere which is nowhere
WTF is your name?
Thy kingdom's dumb
Thy will's a bummer
Since it shows up neither here nor in heaven (wherever THAT is!)
I'll get my own daily bread, thanks
And I might forgive the schmuck who jacked me up
If he pays me back with interest (and probably not even then)
I'll give in to temptation if I feel like it
And as for evil, you seem to be the majority stockholder
For thine is the dogma and the bullshit and the foolishness
For as long as I've seen it

First of all, please answer this for me; what do you mean by "god"? Define that exactly and then let me know how you came by that definition and how you can test the definition so you can be sure it's an accurate one. I would appreaciate some idea of what you mean before I can answer in any real sense.
The original post already answers that question:

It doesn't really matter what god or what religion just if there is one.

So I'm taking that to mean we get creative license to wonder what form such a god(s) as created this mess called humanity would take on.

All I know is that if there is a god(s), it isn't very powerful, and it either doesn't care about us, doesn't know about us, or is downright evil.
Ha! You know if god is real and the pearly gates are waiting for me I'm sure they wouldn't even bother with an interview. God would know I really don't believe in him because in my heart of hearts I know he isn't real and there is no hell and all I have to look forward to is becoming fertilizer.
I just met god for the first time today while out walking and he barked at me and even tried to bite me, but I ran like hell. Do you think he wanted to convert me to his dogma?
Could be worse ... he mighta wanted to convert you to his godma ...
I was praying to God out loud with fervor the other night when I realized I was talking to myself...Heyyyyyyyyyy I AM GOD !

So, send money.

Actually I'm God. I can prove it because I have faith that it's true so it must be.




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