I live in a very religious town, so I hear this saying about 2 or 3 times every week, whether it be to me or someone near me.  I usually don't respond when it is said to me, but what do you think a good response would be?

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I prefer to use Peter Griffins line " Jesus loves me he loves me a bunch because he always puts skippy in my lunch" just to throw them off.
I knew I lived in El Paso too long when I saw written in the dust on a bus stop "I love Jesus" and started wondering which Jesus, could they be any more general. I know at least 50.
In Goa, people are also named Jesus a lot...and it's pronounced the same way English-speaking people say "Jesus". That's even weirder.
I would reply, "Well i don't"
You don't what?  Your reply is is unresponsive.  Do you mean, "Well, I don't love him!"
Well, if he were real, I would love him too.

"Well, if he were real, I would love him too."


Oh now I really like this!

If you are going to do that, might as well go for the juggular, "And so's your face!"

Don't forget "That's what she said!"


Just to add insult to injury.

I would love me too if I were Jesus!
I bastardize Big lebowski

"You try any of your crazy shit out here you flash your bible out here in the street...I'll take it away from you and shove it up your ass until the fucking book goes CLICK"

Or probably Better just quickly go "YOU said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus"


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