"Tell me about it, I had to get a restraining order"!
"Yeah, but Zeus gives better reach-arounds"
"I didn't know zombies could love"
"Yeah, but his dad's a real asshole"
*with a bewildered look* Tell him to stop calling me! I've had it up to here with his passive-aggressive antics!
Great, one more person to block on facebook...
"Well that's great and all, but tell him I still have that rash..."
"Thanks, now if you have any other imaginary friends to inform me of their amorous intentions...don't"
"Great! But Pan thinks you're a dick"
"Jesus loves you!!!"
"then why did he make it burn when i have to pee?"
That's not jesus' fault :[
Off to the doctors to get penicillan!
"Allah is most gracious,most merciful!"
How much does that mean to you? Ok, now STFU.
Or, "Allahu akbar! Lulululululululululu!"
"Well, isn't that special?" (Remember 'the Church Lady"?)
"May the Goddess of the Tree spread her gracious limbs above you, and may the Sun God Ra shine his light upon you, and may........................." With a warm smile and a clear intent to continue my blessing ad finitum.
Love the Church Lady!
May the force (or the schwartz for Spaceballs fans) be with you.
Or in honor of Leonard Nimoy's 80th birthday, give the Vulcan sign and say "live long and prosper." If that doesn't get them to redirect, try a Vulcan neck pinch.
I had a friend who always said Lenny Lives! (meaning Lenny Karvitz)