Deconverts: What part of Christian culture do you miss the most? Is there a worship song or hymn you find yourself humming? Do you ever get sentimental over an author or children's book? Do you miss the after church/bible study coffees and potlucks?

I realize there is plenty to NOT miss, but for those who were in the faith longer than out, i'd like to hear about the cultural soft-spots you have since leaving the faith.

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I miss the beatings I got from the nuns and brothers. Ah, those were the good old days.
yes - I'm happy to say I not only bypassed nuns and brothers in the evangelical and baptist circles - but I also bypassed beatings. Catholics - I still don't understand them :)
Nothing......not one damned thing. There was never any "fellowship", just judgement, hypocracy, back-stabbing and strife. I hate the music, the holier than thou mentality. The very idea of going to church fills me with dread and nausea. I would rather be alone than have to spend my time with xtians...or any other members of any other religious group. I can't completely avoid these people, but the less time in their presence...the better.
You have brought up an extremely legitimate point... with the hypocrisy, back-stabbing and judgmental attitudes - and a sickening FACADE of niceness. All points I fully understand and experienced over and over. Oooh -- and the competition going on in churches -- yuck! Nevertheless, I also experienced some amazing close-knit support systems that found creative ways to have fun...

And now that I think of it - the creativity of Christians trying to have fun in a secular world - that was both a bit sad - but sometimes ridiculously Fun. Learned how to think outside the box - but not outside the Book.
nothing really... i just miss not being hated and judged immediately by things irrelevent to belief in god like morality.
Hmmm...on first thought I say nothing, but the more I think about it there are a few (very few things) I miss. After mass when I was a kid the priest would hand out gum all the kids as we left to go downstairs where they had doughnuts, juice, and other goodies. After we grabbed some food we headed to our favorite resturant for a family meal.I really missed that part of going to church when I got older and stopped going (that whole since of community and family). I had planned to carry that on once I had kids, when I had my first child I was still a firm believer and belief gave me a frame work for raising him...then when I came to the realization that deep down inside I never believed it was like someone took the playbook away. I had a real Oh Shit! moment because I knew that everything I taught my kids was on me, no religion to fall back on. So I missed having that "guide" at first, but now I wouldn't have it any other way.

We don't take the boys to church anymore, but Sundays are still special in our home. I cook a big breakfast, and we spend time together talking, playing, just being a family. And two Sundays a month we talk about religion (right now we just focus on telling our boys about our own beliefs, why it's important to question, as well as being loving, compassionate people. We also talk about what a church is, and why our parents (their grandparents) always ask if we have gone, stuff like that).

When you are a believer someone is in control. I never thought I really missed that part of it, but I do.
Sounds familiar - the extended family - when not too hypocritical or back-stabbing - is something worth missing.
Ironically, my biology teacher in 10-11th... there was a window of actually learning something observing stained mitochondria instead of stained glass

I had to waste tons of time in school counsel's office just to get the f outta there!
so negative on any happy missing of whatever

I don't miss any of it. I do like the music, in spite of the lyrics and I still play hymns on the keyboard, especially at xmas. It makes me think of grandma.
I think the sense of community is a big draw for believers.After the birth of my granddaughter, the ladies from my daughter's church organized a dinner service. Every other day a church lady brought over a complete meal. They'd visit for a few minutes and be gone without any prayers or blessings. I was impressed.
Currently she belongs to a church group for moms of preschoolers. She's moved to a new town and church has been a way for her to meet other moms with tots. The fellowship (I kinda hate to use that word) is a big draw for her. She knows little of the doctrine.
Personally, I was never really into the religion. I was just raised that way. Now that I'm out, I'm much happier. There is nothing that I can think of that I miss.
Donuts and... that's really all I can think of. Those donuts were amazing. If I ever start my own cult I'm going to have some kick-ass donuts because that'll keep the kids happy for sure. I seriously can't bite into a maple bar (which I haven't done for years) without thinking about wearing uncomfortable clothing and sitting in one place for a ridiculously long period of time.
I can't think of a single thing which I miss. When I think of all the best memories I have from that time (which are few and not dependent on a specific activity) I also think of all the experiences I was robbed of had I been raises in a more liberal secular environment.

Unlike most, the singing and the fellowship were the parts that I hated the most. I absolutely hate Christian gospel music. It is absolutely bereft of musical quality and standing with several hundred of your closest friends doesn't making listening to it any more enjoyable. I am not a very sociable person either and it always felt very strange to have complete strangers approach me as if they were a member of my family and expect that I treat them the same. I need time to get to know someone before I can be comfortable with that.



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