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What to say when you don't want to invoke god!

We need to put together a dictionary of phrases that express our meanings without invoking god. My reason for doing this is that i don't want people to think I'm religious, so I don't want to say things like "Thank god!" or "I'll pray for you."

So I have a few, but PLEASE add your own -- maybe we can make a document or page about it. Mine are:

(Of Jewish origin) saying BCE (Before the Common Era) and CE (Common Era) instead of BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini = in the year of our Lord -- he ain't MY lord, that's for sure!)

Saying "I'll keep you in my thoughts" instead of "I'll pray for you" because I won't. Even the Quaker "I'll hold you in the light" is better than promising to pray for someone. When I hear that someone is gravely ill, I say "I hope for the best possible outcome" which doesn't specify what that outcome is -- sometimes it's recovery, but sometimes, it's the deliverance of that person from their suffering.

"For goodness' sake!" instead of "For god's sake"

"By all that is in me" instead of "By god!" Because all I have to offer is what is in me and what I have to give.

"I am grateful" rather than "I am blessed" because maybe it's only the uncaring universe that I have to be grateful to, but gratitude is a very human emotion.Even "Thanks to the luck", because luck is a human, but not a deistic concept.

"Gezundheit" (which means "Health!") or just "To your health" instead of "god bless you" when someone sneezes. Or be like the Japanese and say nothing at all -- a sneeze isn't very meaningful in these modern days!

I dunno -- I may think up more, but I'd be VERY interested to see what other people come up with -- I KNOW there are a lot of fertile minds out there! :-)

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Permalink Reply by Natalie A Sera on July 2, 2011 at 2:57pm

A favorite of mine was invented by a high-school student: Bleistiffspitzer!!!! (Spelling may be wrong). All it means is "pencil sharpener" in German, but it SOUNDS so good as a stand-in for goddammit!!

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Permalink Reply by Richard Healy on July 3, 2011 at 6:06am

Love it!!

Reminds me a friend and I once collaborated on writing a story together which featured a surely Russian mobster, who had an invented swear word (I think) "Sakre kolyama!"

I still mutter that sometimes when I'm exasperated. It works rather well.

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Permalink Reply by mistercliff on September 14, 2011 at 4:54am

Nice!

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Permalink Reply by New Atheist on September 20, 2011 at 1:52pm

Nice! I like Bleistiftspitzer and Sakre kolyama! Somehow the latter makes me think of Cornholio, lol!

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Permalink Reply by damian on July 2, 2011 at 8:35pm

I had a jewish customer (woman), and she'd say "oh me". Never heard that before or since. Weird. I guess she substitues "oh me" for "OMG".

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Permalink Reply by New Atheist on September 20, 2011 at 1:53pm

Good one. I've heard "Oh my!" but that just sounds too pious. I like Oh me better.

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Permalink Reply by Goz on July 25, 2011 at 8:25am

I like bloody Christ on a cracker myself..It just rolls off the tongue so nicely.

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Permalink Reply by Cane Kostovski on September 20, 2011 at 9:56pm

I never used it before, but I think it might make a point if I do: Oh My ToothFairy!

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Permalink Reply by mistercliff on July 2, 2011 at 11:31pm

I try to eliminate as many of these as possible, but like with political correctness it reaches a point of reductio ad absurdum. I don't believe in Thor, but I can't be bothered to come up with a new word for Thursday! Frankly, I like leaving some of those vestigial superstitious elements in there as reminders.

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Permalink Reply by Daniel W on July 2, 2011 at 11:38pm

"yi bai sui" is a Mandarin response. Pronunciation is '"ee bye suey" We started saying this in my workplace. It means "one hundred years" and is a blessing implying "may you live 100 years". Replaces Gesundheit or bless you.

Having grown up Baptist, I was taught that the only appropriate response in for certain moments was "Oh sweet jesus" and still use it. There is also "jesus fucking christ" which I like for it's pure blasphemy.

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Permalink Reply by Joe Swam on July 3, 2011 at 6:39am

When someone sneezes I say "congratulations" since sneezing is often a response to unwanted foreign particles in the nasal cavities. I used to say "congratulations on expelling your particulate". I now go with the shortened version. When I sneeze and someone says "bless you", I say "not necessary" and let them know that my sneezing is a sign that my body is functioning properly. I take pleasure in a friend telling me they were somewhere with a friend who sneezed and instantly thought, "If Joe were here, he would say congratulations." I'm the strange guy in my social circle...and I like it that way.