That god is watching me. all the time, every where i go, no matter what i do, there he is watching me. In the shower, going number 2, having sex, eating, sleeping, dreaming, there he is. In school, at work, there this voyeuristic, homophobic, mind reading, stalker is.
Rational people would never allow some one to follow them around with video cameras taking notes and peeping through our windows. But for some reason its okay when its daddy god.
I knew a woman in college who went on like this:
"And Jesus got me to the airport on time and Jesus helped me get to my seat,and Jesus made sure the waitress served me and Jesus helped me get my luggage."
She was one of the most irritating people I'd ever met. i wanted to ask her:"Does he help you change your tampons?"
I've sort of been avoiding the Twilight phenomenon. I'm worried that it might tempt me into a dark path--you know, Christianity. Actually, I'm just not big on the whole vampire genre, for some reason. Probably because it seems to be yet another gloss on the whole "sex is dangerous" theme, like we don't get that message enough. So I'm afraid I'm missing the reference.
And anyhow, Jesus was a zombie, not a vampire. Though there is that whole blood-drinking communion thing...no, no, Jesus always ends up eating people's brains, so definitely zombie.