One told me she loved Jesus more than her husband, anything or anyone alive.

 I told her i found that very sad and disturbing.
She's no longer writing to me.

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I'll have to look for biblical references to this... or maybe not...
Nah. Noah's animals were moved by the Holy Spirit. Come to think of it, Holy Spirit would be a great name for a line of vibrators.
"Let the Spirit move you!"

"The Second Coming"
Now that's(!) some kinda 'rapture'!
Have a come to Jesus moment whenever the mood strikes you!
I was sitting on a park bench in central London (ironically waiting for some of my Atheist Group to arrive and for us to go to the pub), when this middle aged couple came up to me and engaged me in conversation (I knew what was coming but hey...)

We had a conversation about morality (based on her noticing I was flicking through the PVG score of "The Producers" and me explaining the plot), when she asked me if I ever talked to god.

I replied I didn't and I didn't believe such a thing existed, her reply:

"Oh my heart bleeds for you!" - Yuck!
Ack - nothing says "I'm a self-righteous toe-rag" more than

"Oh my heart bleeds for you!"
Speaking of medical references when she brought up the power of prayer I used the "Why doesn't god heal amputees" argument she replied "He does....I've seen an amputated limb grow back after prayer!" (same woman with the bleeding!)
I wonder what denomination she was? Maybe 'Lyingsackofshittist'? Orthodox of course.
Too be fair (really) she said it was on video..and I did suggest that it had been faked and I would like to have see it...

..she moved on rather quickly to another subject (as they do regularly when that are shown to be intellectually outclassed)
OK, I take back my nasty assessment. In less skeptical days I was taken in by videos that supported my idiotic ideas.
I used the "Why doesn't god heal amputees" argument she replied "He does....I've seen an amputated limb grow back after prayer!"

Actually, I too have seen amputated limbs magically grow back. I myself have been known to remove the nose of a child, then place it back on their face unscathed, pain-free, no scar tissue.

Which means that *I* am god. Feel free to worship me. Tithings can be made to my paypal account.

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