It seems the last few years feminism has made quite the comeback, but I also hear many negative things surrounding it, like claims of discrimination and housewife hating. What is the deal? If it were simply equal pay, rights, and authority; I don't see how it has gathered so much negativity, so why is it attracting so much criticism?
Isn't it time for a SERIOUS conversation about it? What are your thoughts and opinions on the issue?
Michael, you don't have to date if you don't want to. You don't have to pay if you don't want to. Women don't have to be treated special. You can treat them any way you want to. Of course, you may have difficulty finding a woman who wants to spend time with you, but that is a different problem. If you don't like restaurants, don't go to them. No one is forcing you to eat at restaurants, at a sidewalk stand or out of the garbage. You decide where you want to eat, what you want, and with whom you want to be with. If you don't want to pay for the other person, don't pay. You can do exactly as you feel is right for you. How old are you? Have you graduated highschool yet? You sound like a sophomore in high school.
Michael, echoes from the past, from parents, grandparents, family, and culture reverberate through our mental gray matter until we figure out we have to think for ourselves. Maybe what you learned from your family is good, maybe not. Perhaps it is easier to move out of dependency if there has been deep trauma. Growing up means having those echoes, listening to them, evaluating them, discerning what is right for you and what is not and move into mentally healthy, mature, adult thinking and behavior.
I always went Dutch; it was a good test to see how the man viewed women. I never went out a second time with a man who wanted to pay my share and to make me feel unfree. Romance and courtship is a way to manipulate women: shower them in presents until they're flat on their backs. What a cheap trick.
I still go Dutch with the Dutchman I live with; we help each other's weaknesses, lean on each other's strength, we both work and we're both responsible for mortgage and others costs. How else would you live?
=^.^= Right here, Freethinker, just west of Rotterdam. Bad luck you were in the wrong country....
As a comfort you I'll make coffee for you when you're in the neighbourhood.
I'm not sure both of you would fit inside a cup of coffee. Maybe if you were both tiny little birds. Cool the coffee first.
Hey, I was in Amsterdam for 24 hours in 1965 at the request of KLM airlines. The taxi drivers there will scare you to death!
inside a cup of coffee, Michael? I must have written something wrong...
These arguments are so old, my grandmother was trying to get the vote, my mother was trying to get a job that paid equal wages for equal work. My issue was the equal rights amendment and that failed, my daughter's is to talk to the banker about business and the banker looks to her husband. He has no clue about the financial end of the business and he is a whiz bang at the technical stuff. They make a perfect team and act like grownups. My granddaughters will be fighting to preserve the right to a safe abortion and the right to have one, if they so choose.
Some men like to pay women's way and some women like to have their way paid by the man. Other men and women think differently. How is one to know unless you discuss it before the dinner and movie. Some like sex on the first date, some do not. Talk about it and make an intelligent decision that fits for both of you.
Some women earn more money than their husbands or boyfriends, some make less. If it is a problem, talk about it between yourselves instead of bringing it to a third party to decide for you. We are all grownups now and don't have to follow the rule of our grandparent's generation, as if we ever did.
Rape is rape, whether male on female, male on male, female on male and I don't know about female on female. I guess one could be more aggressive and one more submissive. Whatever, sex is an act between people and that can all be ironed out without claims and counter claims of rape. If someone says "NO", then the answer is no. Rape is not usually about sexuality, it is about power of one person over another. Rape is a crime; too often the one raped is blamed for the assault. Some people lie about being raped. Lying isn't tolerable either. Rape is also a crime of opportunity, such as the report out of Wichita this morning.
About women being more attracted to aggressive men, I can't answer for other women. I know my father was an abuser and so was my husband. I can get a clearer picture by looking at the research. Here is what I found:
Evolution may have favored those who go to war (Elbert, Weierstall, and Schauer, 2010; Jones, 2008).
Women can be interested in “bad boys” (Urbaniak and Kilmann, 2006),
dominant men (Sadalla, Kenrick, and Vershure, 1987),
or self-confident men in uniform (Hewitt and German, 1987).
The parental investment of women is significantly higher than the investment of men (Trivers, 1972).
Women need to be selective when choosing a mating partner. Apart from a man’s resources, his signals of good gene quality (i.e., heritable fitness) are essential in the selection process.
Facial and body symmetry and a variety of masculine physical and behavioral traits constitute male signals of good heritable condition (Thornhill and Gangestad, 2008).
Women find males with deeper voices (Feinberg, Jones, Little, Burt, and Perrett, 2005), muscular bodies (Frederick and Haselton, 2007) and dominant behavior more attractive (Sadalla et al., 1987).
Preferences also depend on the time perspective of the relationship: Women maximize their reproductive success if they choose a more masculine man as a short-term mate and a man with a relatively more feminine face and a warmer, more agreeable personality (Fink and Penton-Voak, 2002) as a stable long-term partner (Kruger, 2006).
Consequently, men with more masculine faces and bodies (Frederick and Haselton, 2007; Rhodes, Simmons, and Peters, 2005) and more dominant behavior (Snyder, Kirkpatrick, and Barrett, 2008) have greater success in short-term, but not in long-term, mating.
Men who are warm, kind and willing to invest considerable resources in their offspring are preferred as long-term mates (Li, Bailey, Kenrick, and Linsenmeier, 2002). Utilization of this worthwhile strategy results in both better genes in terms of assertiveness and more dynamic provision for the offspring.
Archer and Thanzami (2009) found in a sample of Indian men that young males who perceive themselves as more attractive to women are more aggressive. Aggressive behavior comes in two different types, a reactive–impulsive form which is thought to counter threat and an appetitive form which results from the intrinsic rewarding properties of cues related to violence, hunting, and combat (Elbert et al., 2010; Weierstall, Schaal, Schalinski, Dusingizemung, and Elbert, 2011).
Appetitive aggression is thus “motivated out of itself from hunt and power: it is the aggression of the considerate aggressor, the hunter, the one in power and it is the form of aggression hitherto seldom scientifically examined.” (Allwood, Bell-Dolan, and Husain, 2002; Elbert et al., 2010).
Appetitive aggressiveness may signal heritable fitness in men. Therefore, we expect for women to prefer men with sizeable scores in appetitive aggression as short-term, but not long-term, mates.
Why, Deedee girl, where have you been?