This has been bothering me for about a year now. I'm 23 and yes people 22-30  age group these things occurre more but why rush through them? I wonder if it's because fundamentalists say no sex before marriage? Also we just can't have abortion so therefore everytime you are pregnant it's a gift from god? Drives me nuts. What about having money for a baby? What about getting to know an individual before committing to marriage? Is there no responsibility among so many people today? I have found that the people that do these things mostly are religious. It seems to me that secular indivduals take the time to think through these types of decisions more. 

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Religion is a factor, but a greater factor is culture.  In my area (southwest Ohio), the tendency to marry correlates fairly strongly with socioeconomic status and educational attainment.  College graduates tend to marry, while in the so-called "working class", people cohabit and have kids but don't marry.  The broader question is why do people find a life-partner so early in life (whether in marriage or not), and begin having kids almost immediately upon finding that partner, as opposed to (a) living for a longer while as a childless couple, or (b) waiting until later in life to permanently commit to one partner.


Our culture frowns upon teenagers having sex, but simultaneously extols people in their early-mid 20s to “settle down” with a permanent partner.  Marriage remains the desirable codification of the permanent relationship, but is less imperative than it used to be.  The result is that the people who through inability or inattention didn’t pair up early in life, would be sidelined by mainstream society, and would have difficulty finding a partner later in life.  An analogy would be a high-school dance where the girls line up against one wall of the gym, and the guys against the opposite wall.  Then a whistle blows, the two sides approach each other, and start pairing off.  Those who are left unpaired towards the end suffer doubly: (1) there’s a smaller pool of candidate partners, and (2) they receive opprobrium from the already-partnered for their shiftlessness and lack of drive.


I don’t think that the courtship period is shorter now, than it was for previous generations.  But what does dismay me is how early in life people are expected to start – sometimes as early as high school.  So many of my acquaintances up and down the socioeconomic ladder met their partner while in high school, or at the latest, in college.  Sometimes this meeting resulted in marriage and kids by age 25.  Sometimes the partners are now in their 30s, with kids but without a marriage certificate.  Some dated for 5-6 years before finally marrying.  There are many variations.  But the common thread between all of them is that the wife/girlfriend and husband/boyfriend met between the ages of 16 and 22. 

I think many people have kids while they are younger so that they can have more time with their kids and grand-kids latter.  That was a nice thought.  More likely, people just have more sex when they are younger and have more opportunity to slip on the birth-control.

Pregnant is not gift from god,Pregnant is gift from husbands.And also pregnant is result of sex


Well said  G!

LOL G dog's on the warpath! gift from... yeah right it's hell first few years. especially when other kids are runnin' up all jacked by their pastor dad and fundy gossip mom asking 'you believe in god?' pfffft...

yeah, my niece seemed like she was on a schedule: graduate, get a house, get pregnant. The other day my mom said that she didn't know why a couple would get married if they weren't going to have kids. That threw me. I've always had a feeling that it would be too much for me. It would require much more than i could give.

People in different societies marry for different reasons. In my society, people look upon marriage as the first and most important step for getting settled in life. People marry generally when they feel that they are financially secure enough to start and raise family. Most couples now in my society dio not have more than one child, whether it is a boy or a girl. Both my sons have only one daughter each.

Culture and religion may be factors, but deep underneath is biological programming.

Ready availability of contraception has not (unlike what was expected) changed this much at all. People can have all the sex they want, but still childbearing is a major priority. Interestingly scientific happiness studies (well as scientific as that type of thing can actually be) have shown that cross culturally people with children are NOT happier than people without, indeed often less so.

It just goes to show: when all is said and done, biology wins.

When I was in southeastern Missouri (my first job out of college), some of the smaller towns in the region - one in particular (I won't name the town) - seemed to have some sort of pattern (for lack of a better term) in place.

If you were in high school and didn't have a steady boyfriend by the time you were, say, a sophomore or a junior, there was something wrong with you. If you weren't engaged by the time you were graduated, questions would be flying around about you. And if you weren't married right after graduation (or maybe a couple of years out at the most), you may as well give it up.

How much of it was the culture of the towns and/or schools (they were very small schools) and how much of it was religion-oriented (no doubt, many fundamentalist churches in these towns), I'm not sure, but it was pretty disturbing to me then, and no more so today. I wouldn't be surprised that the culture is still the same in these places.

I'm 51 now, single, never married, no kids. I'd hate to think what people would say about me if I were a native and still living in said towns. I seriously doubt any of it would be complimentary, however.

it's an age thing
coming (no pun) of age. serious. oh and you don't just marry someone per-say . depending on their past influence by etc. you marry 'their family' .. so .. yep enjoy! and remember there's no wrong or right way to raise a kid. they're all born atheist btw. no way around that other than jesus camp pffffft

check this book out highly recommend:

thou shant sleep right again tileth the childeth past a certain age by grace of FSM! ; ) canned food much? how about some water? LOL sigh.. sad folks trick their kids then to just have em' be rebellious and sadistic.. yeah no. Dawkins or bust. Prayer in school fail. just like in that book i posted cyapeace!

I've always thought kids were awesome and when I was 21 I knew I wanted a baby.

Now I'm in my 40s and I know that if I waited longer than I did then I'd be too old to enjoy a baby.

Our baby is now 11 years old. Getting big and so is her mouth.  My wife was big about waiting until after we were married.  I had LOTS of sex before marriage. Gender didn't matter. But it was totally different when I actually loved the person. I had no religious concepts there. But even my questioning wife wondered if our daughter needed a "baptism" of some sort, just in case. I said that it would mean nothing because she didn't give consent and any god that condemns a baby for that reason isn't worth dealing with. But I wanted to make sure my daughter knew I loved her. My parents didn't marry until I was almost 6 and I always wondered if they loved me or if I was just an inconvenience. I didn't

"No child of mine will be bearing

The name of shame I've been wearing

Love child

Never quite as good

Ashamed, afraid, misunderstood." -Diana Ross





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