I had always been one of those people who "pretended" to pray...ever since I can remember. Whether to fit in, be polite, or just avoid those disgusted looks ....I'm not really sure why I did it. I think I thought it was just something you were supposed to do. I grew up in England where religion and school go hand in hand, but I never believed it...and believe me I tried. Religion was thankfully never part of my home life, and later when I moved to America (Ohio) when I was 12, my parents encouraged me to explore. So I investigated, did research....tried to find "something" to believe in.
When I was 12 I remember a girl telling me she couldn't be friends with me because I didn't go to church....that really put things into perspective.

It wasn't until I was 16 that I realized I did believe in something....science, truth, secularism and more. However, I kept quiet about my beliefs and continued (though with less effort) to pretend to pray when the need arose. I realized I still had more growing to do.

I moved to Vermont when I was 17....where I currently reside today. I'm in nursing school, getting places in life, and feel at 21, that I can officially call myself a confident atheist (vs....a closet atheist I guess?). I'm no longer afraid to discuss my opinions, beliefs, and if necessary, argue my views.
And, I no longer pretend to pray.

Thanks, and I look forward to using this site (when I don't have to study, work, or do homework!)

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Welcome to A|N. Your story mirrors many others here. I had forgotten about pretending to pray, which I did probably past 22 depending on company. Several times a year, we have company lunches where we have a prayer before eating, and I sit quietly (for respect to those around me) with my hands unclasped in my lap, and head up while everyone else's is down. It used to bother me; I used to be afraid people would judge or question me, but I'm over it now. Feels good.

The more Vermonsters, the merrier.




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