I am at the beginning of embracing my atheism and I'm about to marry this very passive Christian man. I believe our relationship is more important than our differences in religion but I'm always wondering, what do we teach our kids. So we have arguments, constructive most times, and he says this one thing that really upset me.

"...Atheists are all the same anyway..."

So, how do you feel?

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It is dismissive but I'd give him a bit of slack. Maybe he should be asked in what way he feels we're all clones? Maybe he's always been a theist and can't conceive of how someone could not be one. I suspect, if that's the case, he probably hasn't interacted with non-theists much and has no real understanding of what makes us tick. We share 98% of our DNA with chimpanzees, I suppose if pushed to verbalize his thoughts, even he would find some similarities between himself and atheists.

The conversation would probably give some great insight as to the future of the relationship.

Well, theists are all the same anyway.....also. Everyone is different but my experience with this situation was not positive, just ask my ex-wife.

I wish I could agree but I cannot. I have met believers who epitomized the teachings of the faux Jesus. Pardon the pun, but I don't think we should through the baby out with the bathwater.

James, which is the baby and which is the bathwater?

I was in college when I told a pal (who was remaining a Catholic) that I was leaving and he laid this line on me.

I knew he was likening the Catholic religion to a baby -- too precious to throw out -- and my complaint to the bathwater -- with no value worth saving -- and was both pissed off and without an answer.

I eventually told him that the baby and the bathwater were both too polluted to save and felt like I was getting even with him for a dirty trick.

I did not then know the term "manipulation".

Oh yes, isn't it hard to shed all the pollution with which we are raised? I guess that is what is called "growing up". Sadly, not everyone learns how to grow up. Happily, there are better ways to conduct one's life; not only better but healthier, happier, and more productive ways. 

Without more context it's difficult to form an opinion... but some alarm bells are ringing. Does it seem likely that a compromise can be reached regarding how to raise kids?

I'm seeing more red flags than a 20 car pile up on an Interstate Highway. I'd give this some serious thought before you jump into that relationship. Once children come, it's more than a little late to figure out how you are going to raise them. 

I'm with Pat and Patricia. I'd seriously rethink raising children with this man. In my experience christians only get more... Nutty, for lack of a better word, with time. I live in a family, and community, full of them. I've never known one to get more open minded. Only less so.

Well he is wrong. Atheists are not all the same. Atheists don't believe in a god. Buddhists are atheist. Are all atheists like Buddhists? No!

Some atheists say that there is no god.

Other atheists say that they simply cannot find any evidence good enough to show that there is a god. This is not as adamant as saying that "There is NO god".

Some people are atheists through apathy - they don't give it much thought. The term for them is apatheists. Some atheists are more militant.

There have been many gods, believed by people over the millennia, (see: http://www.rationalresponders.com/a_big_list_of_gods_but_nowhere_ne...). A Christian is atheist with respect to all other gods, but the one they think is the 'true' one. An atheist is atheistic by just one more god than that.

I wouldn't mind betting that Christians are apatheists to most of the gods on the web page I have given the link to. So your Christian fiancée is patently wrong about all atheists being the same, Brittney. Whether that is critically significant, or not is up to you.

Atheists are not all the same just like christians are not all the same. Are all hambergers and fried chicken the same? Does medium rare mean well done?

Many situations can work out but this would be a big red flag to me. My wife is christian and only suspects that I am atheist. She is moving close to her work soon, and I am staying here. If we had children, I can only imagine her teaching them "how much Jesus loves them." This is all make believe.




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