Hi everyone! I'm new to this site so be kind to the noob. :)


Here's the situation...


I've gotten alot of comments from my friends about the type of guy I should be looking for now that I've recently become single. They all think I should be putting religion aside and finding someone I can have the life I want with. Its as if them being religious is something I have to learn to ignore just because I actually do wanna get married and have somewhat of a steady, normal life.

But its just soooo important to me, more than I would llike to admit that whoever I spend the rest of my life with is as athiest as I am, if not more...somehow.

If I'm sitting at a bar talking to a tall blonde with perfect hair and a smile that could bring a puppy to life and later find out he's christrian, I immediately want nothing more to do with him. Just the thought of having to love something so closely knit to something I hate is almost nauseating.


Alot of my friends and family think its irrational and almost offensive. Is it really?

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There are exceptions; i think i've read about a couple people on this forum who married a religious person. I guess every situation is different. A couple may have grown up together, and just never discuss it because they are so busy with other stuff. As for myself, i don't think i could overlook something as big as religion, and i don't think i have any childhood female friends who'd want to date me. Some men have the ability to just overlook it because the woman has a great personality, and won't argue about it. I try to put myself in a situation like that, and i just can't imagine it. So, if you are that aware of your feelings about it, it would never work. Don't worry about it.
You can't live "the life you want" with someone who is going to be desperately trying to convert you. It would be like a racist spending the rest of their life with someone from another race. Maybe worse, because at least the racist can't expect the other person to change races!
How many religious folks would marry an Atheist?
The worst thing about being an atheist.. is that there's no one to talk to when you're having sex. Anyway... I'd say in my holy ignorance... keep options open.... go out with a dude platonically on occasion and change his mind. Try this....
Once upon a time... in a bar..... I had the pleasure of chatting with a Christian who asked me how I could possibly be an atheist? A recollection of our advantageous conversation is ~~~

Me: First, admit to me that among all the major religions of the world, there are followers that "know" in their hearts that their religion is the "true" religion.
He: Well, I suppose so, yeah.
Me: I'd like you to play a little game with me.. It will take concentration for about two minutes.
He: Ohhhkayyy....
Me: I'd like you to pretend -- .... you must concentrate for this one... pretend that you'd never heard of any religion at all. We are sitting here.. and you've never heard of greek gods, christian gods, god miracles, churches, temples, ... and you've never heard of any person that believed in any god,.... pretend you've never heard even those words.
He: ............ Alright .....
Me: You are sitting in this bar, and I come in and sit next to you just like I am now. I say I have a friend named Emil. He's really cool! ................ He makes clouds and stars. ............... He made the sun and the moon. ............ His mother never copulated, but got pregnant without her consent, and without her knowledge, and then Emil was born! He was at a wedding once, and just snapped his fingers and the bottled water turned into Budweiser beer, He just did that because they had run out of beer. I've never actually seen Emil, but I can tell when he's around. I talk to him sometimes and I know he is listening.
He: I'd think you were crazy! (He then gave me the funniest look.)
Me: My point exactly!
I'm certain this simple conversation had a lasting effect! If it doesn't help.... well, you've had innocent fun....
Some people are just born with the ability to entertain themselves LOL. :)
That is a great tactic. I just have to use that on someone soon. I made up a story about clarence the invisible donkey hovering over my roof to protect me, and i think i got the same look on the face that you mentioned. So, in my next confrontation/discussion/argument, i will demand equal time for my made up fairy tale. I could always fall back on Peter Pan, and mention the movie, the play, the book. Peter Pan doesn't do anything more outrageous than Jesus did.
And then there's the Wizard of Oz!!!
So true, lol.
Your friends are fools! You are not wrong. Some people are capable of living and being with someone with whom they have such glaring differences, but I don't understand these people... talk about cognitive dissonance. I'm not saying that they are wrong, but 'm saying I don't get it. Look, man, I have the SAME problem. It is HARD. If you're anything like me it isnt hard to find a date, but if they're a silly theist who believes in craziness I can't take them seriously. I just can't and I don't think I am wrong for that at ALL. Most of those people telling you this are theist's I bet, or people who don't spend a lot of time consumed in thought about such things.
I'm atheist, my husband is a loose theist. He believes in a god of some kind, somewhere, that barely knows we're here. Even with that, there is friction when we get into a discussion. I can't imagine being with someone who believe in heaven and hell and the whole ball of wax. Yeah, it does make it difficult, but I honestly don't think a really religious person could be with an atheist. I think the stress for them would be even worse than the stress on us, unless they were trying to convert us every five minutes which would be totally unacceptable. On the bright side, there are more atheists and agnostics out there than I ever thought and lots of christians are only that in name, but really don't give a rats ass about any of it.
Wanna know something funny? My cousin Talos is the only religious person in my family, and how she got that way none of us will ever know. But she's a great kid, she's the most caring and gentle girl you've ever met and she's really great to have around. She's the only person in my family I look forward to hanging out with and she's 12 LOL.
I think it's ironic and funny, but obviously a coincidence too cause she's been like that since she was too small to comprehend god.
Would it be offensive to them if the whole thing was reversed? I think atheists are held to a higher standard.




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