... But if you try sometimes, you get what you need."

I've lately been hearing this sort of thing from friends a lot. My life kinda turned to shit (am saving it for my LJ!) and during todays whinge about how I never get anything I want I was told this:

"yeah, but sometimes it's because it's not the right thing"

And I promptly declared that bullshit.

Sometimes, the thing that you didn't get is actually the thing that would have made you happy for the rest of your life.
Why do people tell themselves this lie? Do you agree that it's a lie? Why are we happy to say "Ah, well, it's all happening for a reason and you'll land on your feet and be somewhere good, somewhere you were "meant" to be"?

I can accept that I've got what I've got and can only try to do better from here.
I WILL NOT accept that what I've got is better than what I wanted.

Thoughts on this widely accepted mode of magical thinking?

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From my understanding it's because people have trouble accepting the harshness of reality's random nature.

They want to believe they're being taken care of... that even if things get bad, it won't get fatal... and even if it's fatal, it's not really fatal...

It's like a security blanket for children. It doesn't actually protect you, but it does serve to delude the child into thinking it will.

Wether they believe it's some kind of system doing this, or a mythical being... it's all the same line of thought really.

I often like to reply to the "what religion are you" question with : "I'm a free man."
But... freedom was never intended to be safe, secure, nor comforting.

Some people can't face reality without their imaginary friend.
Like any child's imaginary friend, it serves as a protection mechanism for the mind, a placebo for the ego if you will. If you take that away, they have to hit reality head on... some minds can't survive that without getting seriously twisted in the process.

I don't profess to take away people's imaginary friends...

...but for the love of my sanity, would they please quit placing their imaginary friend behind the steering wheel!!!!
Hi Mel, I have to admit I laughed after reading your post. It is very true what you write and it is exactly how I think when I get down over something - "how dare everyone say it will be OK, it is NOT OK". I agree with Judith's comment above. After a disappointment there is nothing wrong with feeling it. Time doesnt change the reality of what happened, but it can change one's perception of it.
I actually tend to hold to this view, but not through magical thinking.

If I want a job, and didn't get it, it may be because the employer wanted a male employee and not a female. So I "THINK" my life would be better, but dealing with a sexist employer would have been hell. So my lack of knowlege on the why, does not negate the fact I got a lucky break.

There is NO one thing, that will make you happy for the rest of your life. This is dreaming and nonsense. THIS is magical thinking.

If you didn't get something, then it's for a reason. Not magical, but probably something due to yourself. I say to everyone, take responsibility for your life. If you didn't get the plot of land you really wanted, it's because your bid was lower than another, you did not have enough money..so LEARN from it, save more, or reduce expectations.

In terms of taking responsibility for your life, I can say absolutely, it happened for a reason. The reason, just didn't happen to be magical.

Pay attention to the reason, and you may eventually get what you want.

And sometimes, shit just happens :P
You've just described metaphysical naturalism quite nicely, Anette.
I'm tricky like that...(of course I have now had to go and lookup metaphysical naturalism..lol!! )




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