"Your New Partner, If Found Too Soon After A Divorce, Will Be Much Like Your Former Partner."

New members of Singletarians heard that caution soon after they joined the large (400+ members) singles group that met weekly at the Phoenix Arizona Unitarian-Universalist church.

I heard it, ignored it, and learned its truth. My needs, not clearly known, influenced my choice more than my reason.

Is it true also that when people leave a long-held religion, they find it difficult to cast aside every element of that religion?

I quit Catholicism traumatically and the thought of someday returning sickened me. I did not right away lose my desire to hear the sounds of a large pipe organ in a cathedral-like building.

Sometimes, leaving takes time.

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Yeah, Daniel, I too for a while found interesting people, conversations and partners at the UU churches in Phoenix and then San Francisco.

In Phoenix my exwife and I both went to the Singletarians and occasionally spoke of our "conquests". l joined the Sierra Club, where outings and environmental political activism consumed my free time.

I ‘retired’ at 45 and moved to SF maybe to go to law school (but didn’t). For intellectual stimulation I liked the weekly non-religious Explorations program at the UU church and got an education in the social sciences I hadn’t studied in college. For company I liked the Singletarians, where I learned of SF Sex Information. My volunteer work at www.sfsi.org remedied 12 years of Catholicism's seriously sick sexual dogma.

I gradually became more atheistic and UUism seemed too religious so I left to write a book on how newly-active people can acquire political power. Some of its chapters were published in a parliamentary journal, but the book was better therapy than anything else so I never did the final drafts.

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