My situation seems a lot less hopeful than many of yours. I ended up marrying a Muslim girl that I started dating in college. We did all this secretly, because it is against Islam (according to her anyway) to date. I'll be the first to admit that I was not being clearheaded about this from the beginning, and it only gets worse from here. I told her outright from the beginning that I was an atheist and that I've been one since I was 12 at least, so that if she had any problems with it that it wasn't going to change and that it was something that was actually very important to me. I figured if she still decided to continue with me that she would have to be supportive and understanding. Perhaps she thought that this might change, that I was possibly only an atheist because of my terrible childhood and family situation, or that she would introduce me to Islam and I would have a revelation or something, who knows? We had only a few discussions about religion, half of which ended up in huge fights and me thinking it wasn't going to work out after all. But when that didn't break us up, it just faded into the background, something which we hardly ever discussed again (we did have one discussion in the past year about the problem of evil, which she did not have an answer for). She had to hide our relationship from her entire (large) family for years, and didn't even tell them when we got married (just like her older brother who married a woman almost the same age as their mother and with children and grandchildren of her own). Finally she told them we got married, but conveniently left out the fact that I am an atheist. To this day they don't know, though some of her siblings have their suspicions. Thankfully most of her family lives in Istanbul, Turkey, so we hardly ever see them, but when we did finally meet, well, that was interesting! It only took about 8 years before I finally met her parents. Most of her family actually like me now (I am likeable!), but she lies to them and tells them I am learning about Islam or that I want to convert or some BS, and she begs me not to tell them because it would destroy her relationship with her family, which I of course don't want to be the cause of.
We have had an extremely rocky relationship over the years, especially early on, though things have finally gotten tolerable. She got pregnant with our first (later diagnosed with autism) when I was still trying to finish my BA, which made me furious (she was supposed to have been taking BC pills but apparently wasn't taking them on schedule, whether on purpose or not I'll never know). I would have left her after some of our early major fights (perhaps epic is a better word), but because we had children (we had a second only 13 months later, and a third another 18 months later, all with her supposedly taking BC), I always came back. I didn't want to repeat my father's absence and terrible parenting with my children, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let no damned Muslim raise my sons! Being with her was, at that point, an unfortunate requirement for being there for my sons.
Well as I said, things have become tolerable nowadays. I no longer wish she would just die and let me have my sons all to myself. And there are of course parts of her which I love; she has a strong character to say the least, she loves me a great deal, she can be a wonderful and thoughtful person, and she works very hard to support our family. She now lives and works overseas while the four of us have come back stateside so that they (and especially our oldest, who needs special services which are not offered in the Middle East where we lived for two years) can go to school. This has brought me a great deal of freedom and some very, much-needed space. I have even been able to drink alcohol on occasion! But she is still very much a child in too many ways. She would have a heart attack if she knew I was on this site, for example, so I have to keep it hidden from her. She also cannot bear the thought of me having any female friends, she is completely insecure about that, so when the mother of my middle son asked me if we'd like to arrange a play-date for our kids, my wife of course had to ask me to schedule it (really reschedule, unbeknownst to her) for when she will be here, which is two weeks from now. In fact she is extremely uncomfortable with me having friends of any gender, and has effectively destroyed virtually all of my outside relationships. My Facebook page is as empty as a graveyard (meanwhile she has hundreds of friends, male and female, but they are all people she used to work with or family friends, etc. etc.). I am still unhappy in this marriage, and was hoping I could get my own career underway one day soon so I had the financial means to leave her, but unfortunately there is no work out there for people with only a BA in philosophy. I am slowly working on my Masters, but with full-time duty of taking care of our sons and nobody to help me, no family to lean on, no friends, it is slowly sucking the life out of me. My sons are my greatest joy, and A|N has given me a much-needed outlet for socialization, poor substitute though it is for actual human contact. And while school is stressful it keeps me hopeful that I might have my own source of income some day, and I don't have to rely on her for all of my needs. But she will likely be returning here to find work with her old boss in NY, and then I'll have to readjust to living with her on a permanent basis, so that will be another chapter of my life, and another challenge.