Do any of you guys have kids with your theist partner, or had kids with an ex who was a theist? What was it like raising the kids? how much did you have to compromise? How much did you get your way? What was your reason(s) for compromise?

Most importantly, what advice can you give those of us who are just starting out on the journey of interfaith parenting?

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Deciding how to raise the kids has got to be the hardest task for a mixed-faith couple. I became an atheist after my last kiddo was born, so I felt like my hands were tied; since I was the one that changed, I had no right to call the shots.
My heart goes out to you folks who actually have some negotiating to do!
You have EVERY right voice your mind and instill in your children your beliefs! It's your child too, you can 'call any shot' you want. Well, I think you and your spouse have to compromise, of course. But you shouldn't feel guilty for your change of beliefs!!!

Children aren't as innocent and unthinking as we like to think of them! I've worked with enough to know a little. I really think it's as simple as just being as honest as possible at all times. If the child wants to go to church let them, if they come back with questions answer them as honestly as you can. You don't have to say anyone or any idea is 'wrong'; but you can say that that's not your belief and that everyone has to make up their own mind and never stop learning. Since you have kids you know, if you answer them honestly and with respect they'll come back for more.
I'm glad you're rootin' for me, swgafire. But it wasn't exactly guilt, at least it doesn't feel like guilt, that made me take the back seat in this area. It would have felt like reneging on a contract. My biggest worry was that my kids would ultimately drop belief and be bitter that I didn't care enough to tell them the truth. That has, in fact, happened to a small degree but I think they understand the position I was in. All along I was entirely open about my beliefs. I just never suggested to them that their beliefs might be wrong.

Thanks for the input. And I agree with you fully about young children being able to think for themselves. Parents often work hard to squelch that ability.
Sorry for the misunderstanding on the guilt. But I'm glad you agree that children may be small, but intellectual sponges!
My fiancee and I agreed after I became an atheist that we would be honost with our daughter about the options and let her make up her own mind. I assume we will follow the same model for the child she is carrying now.
lol... I would recommend the Unitarian-Universalists for her. I can only hope my daughter will be like that. :-D




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