Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mark Johnston on January 1, 2009 at 9:09pm

A lot of folks seem to be threatened by a different viewpoint - especially when it is in their household. Anyone who feels like they are at fault for not being able to convince their spouse to change their world view will definitely have a difficult marriage.

Of course, I'd feel better if my wife simply caved and dropped Christianity just because I did. But her steady belief is a manifestation of self-confidence; that's one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place. I can live with her self-confidence if she can live with mine.

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on November 24, 2009 at 9:17pm

Of course, I'd feel better if my wife simply caved and dropped Christianity just because I did.

Really? I wouldn't want a person to do that. I want them to think for themselves and arrive at their own conclusions. I mean, what else would they do just b/c I do it? I do some stupid things sometimes :P

Permalink Reply by Michael on January 2, 2009 at 12:52am

So far I would say that all of our other shared interests weigh heavily into the strength of our relationship. We enjoy so many of the same activities and are even on pretty much the same page philosophically and politically. Religion has been our one point of contention, but we do not dwell upon it. We simply accept that we have differing perspectives on the matter.

Permalink Reply by Byron on March 22, 2009 at 10:46pm

My biggest problem is when i am told i am going to hell. She has only made this claim once, and says she no longer believes it. I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. :-)

Oh, and now we have the fights about how to raise our kids. I don't want my daughter to have religion forced on her, but our religious relatives ask every chance to take her to church.

Permalink Reply by Mark Johnston on March 22, 2009 at 11:32pm

I fell out of a fairly technical faith. We felt like there was a formula for salvation and that "goodness" never entered into the equation. Pretty much everyone was going to hell, except for those that chose God or were chosen by God (nobody knows how to sort that mess).

So, I guess that little bit of fatalism makes life a little easier. It's a little insulting when someone thinks you're evil enough to go to hell - I think I know how you feel. I don't take it personally because my wife and I were both convinced that no one is good enough. My wife is pretty much convinced that things are out of her hands and she's found a way to live with it. She doesn't pressure me - I guess she feels like it would be counterproductive to try.

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on November 24, 2009 at 9:20pm

It can work if a person doesn't think their religion (or non-religion) is the only way. If the person is not that serious about their religion, doesn't dwell on it all the time, it really isn't a big deal. He thinks God helps him and answers all prayers? Good for him. Being with someone who has my bleak outlook about everything might not be a good thing. Being with someone who has a different outlook can challenge a person, make them aware of other views, instead of surrounding themselves with people just like them.

Permalink Reply by Kyrie Smith on August 27, 2013 at 1:51am

Compromise and a willingness to put the marriage first no matter what. Even before god. Luckily, my husband already believes he's going to burn in hell, so the idea of pissing off god by putting me first isn't too daunting.