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Has embracing your Atheism affected your relationships?

Becoming more vocal about my atheism has had an affect on many of my relationships.

What I'm beginning to see is how the devoutly religious people categorize the non believers. The box they seem to try to put us in is "evil" or that we are now the "devil."

This is such an ignorant approach but it requires "us" to be even more patient with the religious. To me, patience, love, and understanding is the only way we can begin to show them how we can live good and loving lives without religion.

A person doesn't need to believe in a god or gods to have love in their lives.

Have you gained or lost friends and/or relationships because of your atheism?

I would say, in raw numbers of relationships, that I've lost more than I've gained. But the quality of my relationships has improved.

What about you?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Indygrl76 on July 3, 2011 at 2:13pm

Friends that don't accept you for who you are aren't really friends are they? Just remember there are a lot of us who are scientists and reasoned thinkers... maybe we need to begin a chain of coffee houses or something!

Permalink Reply by G Smith on August 7, 2011 at 8:13pm

Two members of my immediate family are very religious. I have no contact with them for now (my choice) because I just can't bear any more preaching or debate right now. I am so glad that I found a sense of community and acceptance here. *Corny group hug*

Permalink Reply by Karl on August 18, 2011 at 12:18pm

Yes, Atheism has cost me in relationships. Not so much with existing relationships but it has an impact when I meet new people. I recently went to a friends destination wedding and had an opportunity to meet some friends of his from another city. During the course of conversation one of the friends brought up god. At some point I responded that I'm an Atheist. At that point I was "shun" by that subset of people. The interesting dynamic for me was my friend, the groom does not believe in god either but he and others around the table were much more politically correct than I. Their responses were more somewhat agnostic leaving the door open for some deity. I went straight Atheist with a "god is just Santa Clause for adults" approach. OK, I could have been more politically correct, but let's face it the religiously fervent usually aren't

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on December 11, 2011 at 1:08am

Many of my family and friends are born again and when I am around them they try very hard not to bring up religion. Before the family gathers yearly for our reunions they warn each other not to talk religion. Very often, someone just cant stand the silence about the subject and asks me how I can have a moral core if I am an atheist. I just simply run down the list of nations that are at war based on differences in religion, or the crime of covering up misconduct by church leaders, or the hypocrisy of being silent in the face of domestic violence or giving the victim of violence the admonition to follow what I call, "The Passive Gospel," i.e. "yield, pray, obey, forgive, turn the other cheek, love him to the lord, crucify yourself daily and rejoice in your crucifixion." I remind them the Passive Gospel is not only sick, psychologically, but stupid, legally, and disgusting theologically. What if the victim had been admonished to use the "Active Gospel," i.e. no one has to submit to violence or be afraid in his/her own home, or put up with thuggish, bullying behavior from loved ones.

Or other times, they ask about wagering if god were real ... I remind them this is the old bromide of Pascal's wager and it goes like this:

If you believe in God and God does exist, you will be rewarded with eternal life in heaven;

If you do not believe in God and God does exist, you will be condemned to burn for eternity;

If you believe in God and God does not exist, there is not a reward to receive;

If you do not believe in God and God does not exist, you have lived your own life.

I further point out that if their god is a loving god then he/she/it is also a hypocrite, not worthy of acknowledgment. If I am good or bad it is because of what is inside of me, not because I desire to please some superstition born in the Bronze Age and used to exploit and manipulate those who produce the goods and services of a community.

The odd thing is, every year someone asks me a religious question. I answer honestly and as clearly as I possibly can.

Permalink Reply by A. Gabriele Eichel on September 12, 2011 at 11:29am

My family does not accept it... It's hard for me since I'm an aspie and a god seems so absurd for me. Just asking,why would god make me in a way I can't believe in him,and then send me to hell for it? D:

Permalink Reply by Natasha's Pet Ape on September 14, 2011 at 12:46am

Hello,

i asked somewhat the same type of q to the sunday school teach back when i was a kid. did not get an answer that i recall. other blasphemous and sacrilegious q continued each sunday til i was old enough to not be successfully ordered to church. they did have me, actually, for about a month i was a believer during communion brainwashing classes. reality may have lost its battle with them, but i snapped out of their insipid cult luckily.

the reason i believe that the bible says that hell awaits the nonbelievers is that it is a remnant of innumerable clan religions. the priest or temple master had to keep the clan together. leaving the clan would weaken the numbers and undercut absolute authority (probably the only kind they had) . there were other clans, tribes, all saying that the gods favored them. all the tribes were in conflict, so god or gods were something to be feared. the other clans gods were evil, etc.

To ask q like yours would be tantamount to treason. we have not changed very much, have we?

Remember G. H.W.Bush the Senior stating that you could not be an atheist and be a patriot. He refused to take it back.

it is tempting to say forget the christian fascists. you are better off without them. unfortunately part of being an atheist is the ability to take being alone without a god, or priest behind the curtain faking like the wizard of oz. wouldn't you rather not love big brother. wouldn't you rather not drink the koolaid.

Permalink Reply by AgeOfAtheists14 on October 13, 2011 at 2:49pm

relationship |riˈlā sh ənˌ sh ip|
noun
the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected : the study will assess the relationship between unemployment and political attitudes.
• the state of being connected by blood or marriage : they can trace their relationship to a common ancestor.
• the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other : the landlord–tenant relationship | she was proud of her good relationship with the household staff.
• an emotional and sexual association between two people : she has a daughter from a previous relationship.

so in light of that def. perhaps made stronger relationships w/current and new friends that are also freethinkers. granted the reason all this has surfaced is due to the election of 2000 and attempt to subvert our rights as secular citizens. fair enough?

Permalink Reply by Blaze on December 10, 2011 at 10:03am

According to my wife "You don't believe in anything" She has no idea how much I do. Nature in it self is the most amazing thing. I just don't have room for fiction. Well... yes I do, but I know the difference.

Permalink Reply by Tyler Ford on December 16, 2011 at 12:37pm

Yes, unfortunately.

I - unfortunately - live in the Bible Belt area of the U.S. Therefore, I am subject to many religious discriminations alone, not including the relationships that have been altered because of it.

For an atheist, I have more Christian friends than I do atheist. However, my friends, for the most part, accept my free thinking. One friend, although, continually tries to prove atheists wrong. It's quite humorous, actually. We've argued to the point were she nolonger wanted contact with me because of our religious debate. Shouldn't she, as a devout Christian, be trying to "save my soul"?

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on December 16, 2011 at 2:36pm

Tyler, evangelical christians are expected to save your soul. I don't know about others, but I do know this.