Hey campers! How was your break? (she says, excusing herself from the fact that life caught up with her and she's completely neglected the group.)

For conveniences-sake we're going to say I left you all in a den of bears and now I'm coming to save you.

So the good and bad pieces of my asexuality been on my mind a lot recently.

I thought maybe we could all make a list of the things that frustrate us, and the things that we like. You can use it whether you have a lack or desire, or just aren't having sex, etc. Whatever your current sexual state is.

For Me:

-I don't have to be horny and/or distracted by it
-I have more time for anything and everything else
-I'm less likely to slip up and do something stupid
-My judgment is less clouded
-No complicated sex-buddy scenarios
-No chance of pregnancy
-A clean record, no rumors, slander...
-A good excuse, I guess
-Less attachment, more freedom

-People mock it or hold it against me
-People don't understand, or think something is wrong (could be, I guess)
-I sometimes feel abnormal or like a freak
-I have to watch others in relationships, and it can take friends away
-I get frustrated with my inability to "want" or even enjoy
-It can end up hurting people
-I worry about my ability to maintain a good relationship
-Lack of the release that sex is supposed to bring
-Confusion as to what sex gives and truly is supposed to be

My con list may be pretty long but all in all it's kind of nice to live without that distraction. A lot of my cons have to do with confusion, and with the frustrations that come from other people.

What do you think?

Views: 219

Replies to This Discussion

I have some questions about the ones you gave - how can your asexuality hurt other people, for instance? It seems like sexuality is much more prone to hurt feelings
I think she means hurting people by rejecting their sexual advances ... making guys feel unwanted.

also, I think that the release that sex brings is mostly from sexual desire... so if you don't have any desire in the first place then I suppose it's not a problem? :P
Errrrr, you do masturbate, right? Orgasm releases a whole stew of hormonal chemicals into the brain. They do all sorts of good things for easing stress and anxiety, among other things.
Hmm, I didn't realize that - I don't get stressed or anxious very easily, so I guess those passed me by.
Well, not even as a specific cure for stress and anxiety, but it's like it ... pushes you out the other side of the slider scale, to the opposite of anxious and stressed.
In my case, I don't see many pros :P I think it's a good thing I didn't get into sex before I was ready for it, but that point has come and gone already >< I suppose I don't have to worry about STIs, but to be absolutely honest, I'm not super worried about those since I'm not the type to sleep around or just forget to use protection. Yes, it could happen, anyway - but even if it does, it's not like my entire life is over.

So, my cons are:
- Lack of sexual experience; whenever I *do* find someone to have sex with, they'll probably be light years ahead of me in terms of experience and it'll only cause problems
- Lack of fun! I'm freaking 24 already. I have a social right to be stupid and hedonistic while I'm young, right? And that youth is quickly slipping through my fingers...! I can feel this body dying all around me!
- I was raised in a fucking cult and never got to have anything resembling a 'normal' childhood and I want to have SOMETHING that resembles a real life. Trailblazing can be fun, but it's the most fun when you occasionally meet up with the established trail at least once in a while.
- Lack of fun
- Sexy women are sexy
- No boobies

Okay, I guess the last three are already part of #2. But they each deserve to be repeated.
- Lack of sexual experience; whenever I *do* find someone to have sex with, they'll probably be light years ahead of me in terms of experience and it'll only cause problems

Visit the self-help section of your local B&N. I did a lot of reading on the subject, back in late high school. It did wonders for my first time. There was the matter of application and recognizing the signals I was seeing, but at least I knew enough to not completely screw things up.

And you'd be surprised. Tell a girl that you're not really sure what you're doing, but you're willing to learn how to please her. Lots of girls would probably enjoy having someone they can sculpt into their ideal lover. You get lots of macho pricks who aren't so good at that sort of thing. Each new lover is another learning experience in fine-tuning, anyway.
Oh, you can bet I've done my reading ^~
Self-help books, man ... not just porn. :-P

I need to get to the library!
I was giving a speech on decriminalizing prostitution for a class, and I was perusing the libraries sextion (get it? sex section? Sextion?) and there was a book called "Sexuality in the Human Female" which I totally picked up ONLY for academic purposes... and anyways, I flipped through, and it was folded on one page, entitled, "TECHNIQUES OF MASTURBATION". It was hilarious (although probably very mature and healthy of the reader rather than... "stumbling around in the dark" so to say), and there's nothing like quietly giggling as you sit in the sextion of the library...
and there's nothing like quietly giggling as you sit in the sextion of the library...

Heh, if there were any guys in the proximity, I think you may have helped generate a new fetish in them. :-D
Exactly what do you mean no boobies?!

Lol jk. This is awkward now. :P
I can go to gay bars and not feel self-conscious about it.




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