Now that I can look back, my last religious impulse was derived from the tantras, which teach "yoga through bhoga" and in their more extreme forms give rise to Hindu sects that are strange, indeed, to Western eyes. The tantras teach that there is not the slightest difference, ontologically, between a spoon of chocolate and a spoon of turds. The ability to cease having opinions and to cease discriminating between any one thing and any other thing being the ultimate goal ("enlightenment" = code for "at peace with yourself in your own skin"). The more baroque forms of Buddhism (non-tantric) having a soul-like substance enduring demons and such on a bardo are completely superstitious and silly. The Hua-Yen school is in tune with quantum theory, especially Bohm's infinite interconnectedness. The Buddhist concept of Nothing implies the complete cessation of consciousness in this world, just as was the case before you were born. How can it be said that death is so fearful?