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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Latest Activity: on Sunday

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Aron Ra: Professional Huckster?!?

Started by Loren Miller Jun 11. 0 Replies

FromThe Onion

Started by Lilac. Last reply by Gary S May 25. 7 Replies

Easter

Started by Compelledunbeliever Mar 10. 0 Replies

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Comment by Gary S on Sunday

Comment by Grinning Cat on December 4, 2017 at 6:02pm

In time for the Christmas season:

(picture of a traditional bearded Santa in his red-and-white suit and hat) DEAR CHILDREN - One Day You Will Learn Everything About Santa Claus. On That Day Remember Everything The Adults Have Told You About Jesus.

Comment by Grinning Cat on December 4, 2017 at 6:00pm

1. Guy sees a possum; 'Hey there, little possum!' 2. It flips over, apparently dead. 'Oh no!' 3. It 'revives' and flips back onto its feet. 'Gasp!' 4. Possum leaves; guy stands there, still shocked and stunned. 5. Guy is preaching, corners of church pews visible, in front of a stained-glass window depicting a Possum in robes and a halo.

(from Cyanide and Happiness)

Comment by Patricia on December 2, 2017 at 7:42pm

Blonde Nun
-------------------------

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before
her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love
for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the
benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you,
but to grant you anything you wish," said God.

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am
doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports
me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.

"There must be something you would have of me," said God.

"Well, there is one thing," she said.

"Just name it," said God.

"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not
just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop."

"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the
minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do
just for you."

"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said
the nun.

"Name it. Please," said God.

"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 1, 2017 at 8:57pm

"I don't know any better" is no justification for using that belief in today's world. African- European- Chinese- slaveholders participate in a horrendous practice and it is time to put an end to it. No excuses tolerated here. 

Comment by Gary S on December 1, 2017 at 8:49pm

Comment by Idaho Spud on December 1, 2017 at 3:27pm

Comment by Grinning Cat on December 1, 2017 at 11:11am

Now that it's December, it's not too early for a Christmas reference: (also posting this in Trekkies)

Celebrate Christmas with an ornament about a man who died to save others, then rose from the dead to the great joy of many. [Spock and Kirk at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan]

Comment by Patricia on November 28, 2017 at 12:25am

Ha.....riiiiiight!

Comment by Grinning Cat on November 27, 2017 at 9:13pm

In the video "God is Punishing Us!", Darkmatter2525 explores what happens when God goes on vacation and his angel sidekick Jeffrey takes over. (Warning: contains eerily accurate Pat Robertson caricatures.)

Here's what we might expect when someone competent is in charge of natural disasters:

The Daily Blah News / 11/9/2017 / Bank Robbers Struck By Lightning! Four would-be bank-robbers were struck by lightning during a brazen attempted robbery of the Bank of 'Merica on 31st Avenue this morning. / Each masked gunman was struck by a separate lightning bolt, one after the other. All four men died on the scene. [...] Police have been storming churches nationwide, attempting to bring God in for questioning, but to no avail. Thus far the deity has eluded them. He's wanted for questioning...

The Daily Blah News / 11/10/2017 / Child Molester Killed by Tornado! No Other Injuries or Damages / Convicted child molester, Bob S. Hives, was sucked up by a very localized tornado that caused no other injuries or damages. / Witnesses say the tornado seemed to follow Hives around specifically, as he ran frantically from the deadly vortex. / Many local residents are claiming that this is yet another case of God's recent not-so-mysterious ways. [...] there seems to be an undeniable pattern forming. Could this be a sign? Many people believe so, not just wacky preachers and TV personalities... / Continued on page 2

The Daily Blah News / 11/11/2017 / ISIS IS ICED! Frozen in 120°F Weather / The troublesome jihadists will never harm anyone ever again. Every member of ISIS has been frozen solid, despite many of them occupying desert areas of sweltering heat. / What's even more perplexing is that the unusual cold only affected them. One such group of four was about to execute a hostage, yet when the sudden cold snap froze them, the hostage remained unharmed. / Obviously God is up to his hijinks again. Church attendance has skyrocketed. / Other Islamist extremists, having seen the evidence... / Continued on page 2

(screencaps from the video; click to enlarge)

 

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