Hmmmm.... I don't think the paper is very absorbent. Might have to change your underwear.
How about lining the bottoms of birdcages with it?
Or do what Spider Robinson did when he was living on an old farm in Nova Scotia, and reviewing books for a semi-living. Publishers were sending review copies to him by the bushel, and he used most of them to insulate the walls of the house, and the rest made good kindling for his wood-burning stove.
Line a root cellar?
Has anyone thought of pulping used Bibles (or Korans, come to that) and selling them as branded toilet tissue so you really can wipe your hind quarters with the holy texts?
Even if we haven't, it sounds like a good meme to start winding up the right-wing press... anyone feelin' like writing a press release to this effect? I'm certain The Onion would run it!
more toxic than the words?
Mind you, given the shit in a ciggy, I can't see the difference a few extra carcinogens would do... bit like weeing into the swimming pool. (Which I didn't do.)