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No one's done this any better?  Mary is a GUY?  I liked the version in my head a lot better.

"Mary is a GUY?"

Sure, why not? Maybe it's short for Marion...

"I liked the version in my head a lot better."

I like the versions in my head of EVERYTHING better…. Bigger screen.

Subtle!

Proselytizing is not going to work on Atheeasskisseds. We are non-buttkissers and do not want hot dogs without condiments, Hank-damn it.

Years ago, on a pleasant Saturday morning, a pair of superconducting Jehovah's Witnesses (that's why I assumed they always traveled in pairs) knocked on my front door.

(Of course, ANYONE knocking on my front door immediately reveals that they don't know me, since everyone who knows me knows to ring the bell on the mud-room door).

My children and (then) wife peeked out and saw the Sunday-Best clothes these two were wearing, and recognized them as JW's.

My wife pleaded with me to leave them alone.  When I refused, she begged me not to be too mean to them.

Then my family arranged the seats in the nearby family room, and sat down to enjoy the show.

Good times...

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