I don't know about other Atheists, but I get this question a lot when people find out I don't believe.  I know Richard Dawkins has gotten it a number of times and I usually answer the same as he did, which is to turn the question back on the asker, what if they're wrong about Zeus, or Odin, or the Great Juju on the Mountain?

Anyway, I've also gotten the expanded version which is, "What if you're wrong and you die and meet God?"  To which I usually reply, "Then God's going to have a damn lot of explaining to do."
But the other day I was thinking about this question and I thought, why be so serious about it?

So take the question, what if you're wrong and you die and there is a god... what do you do?

To get the ball rolling, I'll give you the silly answer that inspired me to write this discussion:

I'd ask god exactly where Felch* lives and to let me go there and fuck with his cynical thinking, because let's face it, if almost any major religion is right, then god is just the sort of prick who would let me do it!

*@Felch (or whatever the fuck weird symbols you're using this week), you know you're my absolute favorite Grogan, right?? :-)

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Mr. Deity (a web series on youtube) had a nice take on this when it guest starred Michael Shermer(sp?).

I'm afraid my answer isn't very funny though.

My answer: "Clearly since God refuses to prove he eixsts he must want us to learn and think for ourselves. He must want to see how we'd do on our own and without his intervention or needing to babysit us. Kind of like a parent who wants to go out for a little while and doesn't want to field phone calls from his kids every 2 seconds - he wants us to handle it and will judge us based on the merits of our life's decisions and actions and their consequences."

"You see, if God really wanted us to believe, he'd give us some kind of clearer evidence than he has already. We'd see one religion's prayers being answered disporportionately. We'd see examples of amputees spontaneously regrowing limbs. We'd see the wicked and evil suffering in this life instead of getting richer and more powerful. We'd see massive earthquakes hitting Wall Street instead of Haiti. Since it is obvious that a kind and loving god isn't intervening in our life it follows that he must want us to live as best we can on the assumption he doesn't exist."
"what if you're wrong and you die and there is a god... what do you do?"

My first question (among many), for an all powerful, all knowing, all seeing dude how is it you've fucked up so many times? The second would be, exactly WHICH one of the fhousands of gods dreamed up by humans are you? And the third would be, is there a bar, whore house or somewhere I can get some decent weed nearby?
Jim: how is it you've fucked up so many times?

"Because I don't mind a bit of challenge. Satan wouldn't believe I could create a species as fucked up as yours who could survive civilization for ten thousands years. You still have a couple centuries to go, by the way. Don't fail me, or I'll have to kiss his ass. You don't want your creator to kiss the Devil's ass, do you?"
You don't want your creator to kiss the Devil's ass, do you?"

That's a trick question, ain't it?

One other thing...White is not my favorite non-color, could I get something in a dark blue robe? And as long as your handing out instruments, could I trade this lame harp in for a vintage Martin Dreadnought guitar? ... just askin'.
(Damn My Self! I fucked up again!)
Are you stalking me???
Am I stalking you? Honestly, I don't know. To make sure My ways remain inscrutable, I often have to keep my plans hidden even to Myself.

Regarding your request, I'm sorry, but apparently customs won't let guitars in. Robes have to be pure white for reasons you don't have to understand, but I managed to smuggle a shipment of NATO blue berets in. I should be able to get blue-tainted glasses for you if you wish. Will that be okay?
You work in mysterious ways. A bit loopy - but mysterious.
How about some blue trim on the robe.
I just assembled a committee to ponder the issue. Expect an answer... not too soon.
If we are all good and free of sin and all when we go to heaven, why do we wear robes at all? Was that not just an invention by those who make illustrations to bible stories to make them "decent"?

I'd go for a bare ass heaven!
What would I do? Take a good look around, both above and below, then say 'You're fired. I'll take over from here on in.' YES!!!! Then turn Earth into paradise. Probably abdicate and come back down here.
What if you're wrong and you die and there is a god... what do you do?

Ask where the bathroom is. After all that waiting in line behind all the xtains, I'll probably have to go.




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