I don't know about other Atheists, but I get this question a lot when people find out I don't believe.  I know Richard Dawkins has gotten it a number of times and I usually answer the same as he did, which is to turn the question back on the asker, what if they're wrong about Zeus, or Odin, or the Great Juju on the Mountain?

Anyway, I've also gotten the expanded version which is, "What if you're wrong and you die and meet God?"  To which I usually reply, "Then God's going to have a damn lot of explaining to do."
But the other day I was thinking about this question and I thought, why be so serious about it?

So take the question, what if you're wrong and you die and there is a god... what do you do?

To get the ball rolling, I'll give you the silly answer that inspired me to write this discussion:

I'd ask god exactly where Felch* lives and to let me go there and fuck with his cynical thinking, because let's face it, if almost any major religion is right, then god is just the sort of prick who would let me do it!

*@Felch (or whatever the fuck weird symbols you're using this week), you know you're my absolute favorite Grogan, right?? :-)

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My question:

If you are so all-powerful, why in the name of all that is holy could you not have prevented Snookie?
I've thought of this and I would probably share similar sentiments

I'd call him a hypocrite then protest that he belongs in hell with me
I'd ask, "A psychic connection would've been nice; after all, you're only god."

And, interestingly enough, this very argument -- that a spiritual creature didn't have a built-in conduit to the almighty, was the end of my personal awareness of a god.
This is just a silly attempt for them to get a sense of a tiny triumph. they think by making you admit even to the slightest possibility of a god that they have justified their own belief or invalidated your disbelief. it's like the unreasonable idea that evolution is just as or less probable because it is "only" a theory. what i would like to say to someone who asks me that question is "no need, the probability of meeting god in death is so insignificant that it is not worth the effort of imagining the experience." but i''d actually have to go with something less likely to get me smacked.
Who is Felch?
What was the deal with Yoko Ono's singing?
"If you're so bloody all-powerful, why do you have such heavy ego problems? Why do you need billions of supposedly inferior beings on one tiny mudball out of all the vast universe(s) to grovel and submit to your every whim?

"Haven't you got anything better to do?"

Or....there's always the Monodigital Salute.

Actually, I think Harlan Ellison got it right in "Deathbird." This solar system (or maybe the entire Milky Way Galaxy) is a mental hospital/rehab center for failed gods, and earth was/is YHWH's effed-up occupational therapy project.
Well, I think I would have to walk up to him, look him straight in the eye and ask, "Got any weed?"
I think he probably has some primo hash...at least I think that's what he gave to the hallucinator who wrote "Revelations." Or maybe it was ergot/LSD. They knew about both those in the whole Mediterranean area in those days. 'Shrooms, too.
Absolutely! People have been getting high and equating it to a spiritual experience ever since.... well, ever since there have been people! Hey! Back in the day, man... 1 too many 'shrooms and I actually thought I was talking the "THE DUDE"! Actually, I was talking gibberish to my friends' drunk-ass dad, who had passed out about 10 minutes before I started this particular trip.

So there you have it... god is someone's drunk-ass dad; passed out on the couch.

So, to revise my earlier answer to the "will never have to answer" question is...

"WAKE-UP DUDE! You gotta drive us home!"
Well, since everyone's imaginary "friend" (slave-owner is more like it) is a drunk, I'll be the designated driver.

For centuries, millennia, maybe, Pacific Islanders have used various kinds of fermented glop in their rituals because, as they flatly state, it brings them closer to their gods. At least they're honest about it...they don't pretend that red wine is their god's blood.

During the Roman Republic and later, hallucinogens were used just as they are today, as party drugs.

Ergot derivatives were well known to the ancient Egyptians and the Romans (probably other Eastern Med peoples, too) as both psychoactive drugs and abortifacients. Roman women of all classes worshipped the Bona Dea, and "diseased grain" was cultivated in her temple precinct for the sole purpose of ridding women of unwanted pregnancies.

(If there were a god, I would ask the sadistic SOB why she/he/it has allowed so many unwanted babies to be conceived and born, just so they can be starved and abused.... She/he/it must need a lot of sociopathic cannon fodder....)
Have a conversation on why he made it so god damned hard to believe in him.



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