Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here.

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Aron Ra: Professional Huckster?!?

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FromThe Onion

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Comment by rockytij on February 6, 2013 at 10:30pm

I guess we're going to exhaust the child molester category, huh?

The Priest:
An 8-year-old choir boy walks in and catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
The priest replied, "Because my wrist is killing me."

Comment by The Flying Atheist on February 6, 2013 at 10:28pm

The good thing about child molesters is that they drive slower in school zones. 

Comment by Andrew Hall on February 6, 2013 at 7:06pm

A small group of my friends and I wrote a post titled What would you put in the Bible?

Comment by Joseph P on February 6, 2013 at 5:59pm

And yeah, Dominic, I'm all for free use of whatever language someone wants to use, but profanity and vulgarity should be used as an exclamation point.  If you insert it into every other sentence, it becomes meaningless.

I have one bullshit and two fucks, in my hour and a half or so of material.  Everything else is "freaking", "damn", or a throaty non-verbalization, like "Gyaaacchhh".

Comment by rockytij on February 6, 2013 at 5:55pm

Comment by Dominic Florio on February 6, 2013 at 5:55pm

I went to Catholic schoo but was never an altar boy. 

Imagine someone arguing, "What's wrong with me, why wasn't I molested?"  It's something I could imagine from a modern Seinfeld episode.

It's a funny thought.  In no way does it take away from the serious issue of molestation and the church hiding it.

Humor is a release from a lot of bad stuff.  I will or will not be upset about a racist joke, depending on who is telling it.  Are they playing on stereotypes for humor, or do they believe what they are saying?

Comment by rockytij on February 6, 2013 at 5:55pm

Comment by Joseph P on February 6, 2013 at 5:46pm

Actually, my priest molestation humor isn't even as tasteless as the one Dominic just shared.  One is a brief throwaway, commenting that I wasn't molested, while I was an altar boy, because I was an ugly child.

The other priest molestation jokes are at the end of my growing-up-Catholic part, in which I'm musing how I would organize and keep my Satanic priesthood in line, if I was the anti-Christ, and how I would have one up on the Catholic church, in many areas.

Comment by Terry Groff on February 6, 2013 at 2:08pm

I used to spend some late nights at a Denny's hanging with a cop that worked security there for extra cash. I told him the joke that Dominic Florio just told and he about fell out of his chair with laughter. I also so told him another much worse joke that he also made him howl with laughter.

I just visualized what that joke would look like in print and I know it would not have the same effect as telling it live.

Comment by Dominic Florio on February 6, 2013 at 1:59pm

OK, I'm going to reproduce the joke, but please people, I have worked with animals and children all of my life.  What is "funny" about this, is not the subject, but how it is turned into something unexpected.  As I said, it made me cringe and laugh at the same time.

The humor of something also depends on when, where, and how it is told, and it also depends on many other factors.  I mean knock-knock jokes aren't so funny, but get people in a silly mood and everyone will be cracking up.

It reminds me of the movie, The Aristrocrats.  If I told one of the jokes from the movie, many would not find it funny.  But I was laughing throughout the movie.



A child molester and a little girl were walking towards the woods at dusk.

The little girl says, "Mister, I'm getting scared."

The child molester says, "How do you think I feel?"  "I have to walk back in the dark, alone."


DON'T SHOOT ME!  I'm a nice person.

It's not the molestation that's funny, but the fact that the joke calls for us to shift our sympathies somewhere unexpected. 


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