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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

Members: 2096
Latest Activity: Sep 18

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Aron Ra: Professional Huckster?!?

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Sep 18. 8 Replies

The Big Whoop Book

Started by Grinning Cat. Last reply by Bertold Brautigan Sep 5. 5 Replies

FromThe Onion

Started by Lilac. Last reply by Gary S May 25, 2017. 7 Replies

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Comment by Patricia on March 19, 2018 at 12:43pm

An elderly couple was killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."

 

"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

Comment by Gary S on March 10, 2018 at 7:13pm

Comment by Patricia on March 5, 2018 at 1:30pm

Excellent, Spud.

Comment by Idaho Spud on March 5, 2018 at 12:17pm

I do not believe in the God of the Jew.

The Christian God is fictitious, too.

I cannot accept that Allah is God,

And the Hindu deities are just way too flawed.

The ancient Egyptian gods are not real,

Nor are the Greek and Roman, I feel.

Sumerian gods are all just right out.

And the Celtic gods? They have no clout.

Thor and Odin and the other Aesir?

I just don't think they're really here.

The Aborigines have their own pantheon,

But all of it’s rubbish! Oh boy, this is fun!

What of the Mayans and Aztecs and such?

Well, their gods don't excite me too much.

Buddha’s not a god, so he doesn’t count,

And the Asian gods will never be found.

The list could go on, there are thousands to go,

But I’ve made my point, as I’m sure you all know.

It’s all superstition and none of it’s true!                                           You can pray all you like ‘til your face turns bright blue.

Gods are made up, every single last one.

That's what I believe, and now I am done.

--Barry Goldberg, Born Jewish, Raised Mormon, Discovered Philosophy and Became Atheist

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on March 4, 2018 at 4:28pm

Comment by Patricia on March 3, 2018 at 9:50pm

HA!

Comment by Gary S on March 3, 2018 at 9:42pm

Comment by Patricia on February 27, 2018 at 1:26pm

BULLFEATHERS!!!!!

Comment by Loren Miller on February 27, 2018 at 6:41am

Comment by Patricia on February 26, 2018 at 12:53pm

Bible Jokes

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruth-less.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

 

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