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Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

Discussion Forum

Aron Ra: Professional Huckster?!?

Started by Loren Miller Jun 11, 2017. 0 Replies

FromThe Onion

Started by Lilac. Last reply by Gary S May 25, 2017. 7 Replies

Easter

Started by Compelledunbeliever Mar 10, 2017. 0 Replies

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Comment by Grinning Cat on December 27, 2014 at 8:58pm

(Grinning and groaning at "Labracadabrador!")

About fog lights, it's true that longer (redder) wavelengths of light scatter less and shorter (bluer) wavelengths of light scatter more in fog and in the atmosphere. (Blue skies are scattered light; red and orange sunrises and sunsets are what's left over.) The yellow and amber fog lights are white (mixed wavelengths) with most of the blues taken away. They're not a single pure wavelength.

I suppose fog lights aren't red because (1) the more aggressively filtered an incandescent bulb or lamp is, the hotter and more inefficient it is; (2) it's easier to recognize objects in a broader spectrum of light; and, most importantly, (3) we don't want anything on the front of a car to be confused with taillights or brake lights (or an emergency vehicle).

Coming back to some (ancient) actual humor, this radio exchange supposedly happened between a U.S. Navy ship and Canadian authorities:

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

(snopes.com on the origins of this joke)

Comment by Terry Groff on December 27, 2014 at 3:55pm

Best you "watch out where the huskies go" :-)

Comment by sk8eycat on December 27, 2014 at 3:34pm

Oh, dear!  (Deer?)  That last remark of yours made me think of "yellow snow."   Eww.

Comment by Terry Groff on December 27, 2014 at 1:06pm

P.S. Maybe Rudolph's nose should have been yellow.

Comment by Terry Groff on December 27, 2014 at 1:04pm

Ok, I'm not a scientist but I've played one on Facebook. I think fog lights are yellow because it's the lowest wavelength (next to orange) that will still illuminate other objects well enough to be visible to us. That is only a guess though.

Comment by sk8eycat on December 27, 2014 at 12:53pm

LMAO.....Benny probably has poor circulation, and his nose would freeze and fall right off, anyway.

PS: I'd like to ask Dr. Tyson if red penetrates fog the best, why are fog lights on cars yellow.  Second best?

Comment by Grinning Cat on December 27, 2014 at 11:52am
Comment by Grinning Cat on December 25, 2014 at 3:10pm
Comment by The Flying Atheist on December 23, 2014 at 7:53pm

Loooove the Cross Fit. That's hilarious. 

Comment by Pat on December 23, 2014 at 7:36pm

Little Tommy from a good Catholic family goes to his dad and asks for a bicycle. His dad tells him to ask Santa. “Dad! It’s April, and I want the bike to ride with my friends this spring and summer.” Dad tells him he is busy, and to go ask his mother. Mom, being the good Catholic wife and having 4 other kids under foot, tells Tommy to go ask Jesus. Tommy thinks about it. Jesus is more powerful than Santa, and is good all year long.

Tommy goes to his room and starts to write a letter to Jesus. “Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy…” He stops, and realizing this is the one guy you don’t lie to, tears up the letter, and starts over. “Dear Jesus, I have been a pretty good boy...” He tears that one up. By the time he gets to “Dear Jesus, I hope to be a good boy…” he knows he’s screwed.

Crying, he runs out the house and down the street. Gasping for air, he stops running and looks around. He sees an inverted bathtub with a statue of the Virgin Mary in another Catholic’s yard. Checking to make sure no one is looking, he runs over, grabs the statue, and runs back home.  He runs upstairs, locking all the doors behind him, and tosses the statute under his bed. He pulls out the notepad and begins to write.

“Dear Jesus, If you ever want to see your mother again...”

 

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