Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

Members: 2109
Latest Activity: on Monday

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here.

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Aug 6. 21 Replies

Four More Cartoons

Started by Gary Canup. Last reply by Joseph P Sep 29, 2015. 7 Replies

The Power of Prayer, and Other Laughables

Started by Gary Canup. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Sep 27, 2015. 6 Replies

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Comment by Terry Groff on Monday

Cannibals don't eat comedians because they taste funny.

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on Monday


Comment by Joseph P on Monday

Two fish are swimming together.  One smacks into a concrete wall and says, "Oww, dam."

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on Monday

Yes, I'm not a fan of that type of thing either.

Comment by Joseph P on Monday

Ah, the good kind of pun for a change.  Nice.  My uncle and brother-in-law tell the sort of puns in which they just swap in a word that vaguely (very vaguely) sounds like another word in the sentence, when the two words have nothing to do with each other, and the replacement word doesn't make a damned bit of sense in the sentence.

Then, they grin like idiots and seem surprised when no one laughs.

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on Monday

Puns, For the Educated Mind

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10.. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2016 at 5:22pm

Religion is the key to the increase of great wealth in One Percent of the population, the decline of the middle class, and the growth of those living below the poverty line. The notion of serving, to obey, to submit to higher authority is the problem. 

Thinking that the people at the top of the hierarchy have all the information necessary to make decisions, does not take into account the input of information from the middle class nor from the poverty group. The two groups have valuable information the top one Percenters need. 

As long as individuals allow the Top to rule, and as long as they listen to propaganda that benefits the Top One Percenters, and as long as they vote against their self-interest, there will be no change that benefits wage-workers, small businesses, farmers,  or the poor. 

That small group at the Top did not take power away from the 99 Percenters, the 99 Percenter gave away their power. 

There is no reason of serving, to obey, or to submit to higher authority.  There is no god, no savior, and no king. 

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 26, 2016 at 3:10pm

Sad but true Qiana.

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on November 26, 2016 at 2:06pm

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2016 at 5:40pm

Spud, your photo of Trump and parrot fit the man, except we expect a parrot to act like a parrot and a man to act like a man. 

Trump's attitudes about colored people, women, and finance come straight out of a parody of sophomoric teenagers who are high on hormones. His sense of Divine Right of Trump comes from never growing up. 


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