Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here.

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Aug 6, 2016. 21 Replies

Four More Cartoons

Started by Gary Canup. Last reply by Joseph P Sep 29, 2015. 7 Replies

The Power of Prayer, and Other Laughables

Started by Gary Canup. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Sep 27, 2015. 6 Replies

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Comment by Joseph P on August 29, 2010 at 6:17pm
Well, the poster gets the point across, as is. Great find, on her part. I was just offering a translation of the passage which I prefer.

And yeah, that's the sort of stuff that I meant, when i was talking about knowing the Bible. It lets you attack Christians on two fronts. #1, your deity is made up, and most of your holy book is fabricated and stolen from other religions. #2, if it was all real, your deity is an abomination, and the people held up as as virtuous by your holy book are monsters, by any modern, moral definition.
Comment by David Sensei on August 29, 2010 at 5:43pm
Wow! They didn't tell me about that in Sunday school! You're right, Joseph, I'll have to read more bible, lol. I think that poster from 'Perhaps' would be more dynamic with that quote on it.
Comment by Joseph P on August 29, 2010 at 4:17pm
Yup, one of my favorite Bible sections. I like my New American Bible translation better. It's more explicit:

2 Kings 2:23-24
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, "Go up, baldhead!" 24 The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the children to pieces.

Judges 20:22-30 is also nice and abominable.
Comment by Mr. Apostate on August 29, 2010 at 1:48pm
Comment by Andrew Hall on August 29, 2010 at 10:54am
Glenn Beck, the military and tasting my own vommit.
Comment by Dustin Sanders on August 29, 2010 at 10:48am
Comment by Desanctified on August 28, 2010 at 7:14pm
Jason, I hope you don't mind if I share that.
Comment by David Sensei on August 28, 2010 at 6:16pm
Nice one, Jason. I'd like to see more anti-Muslim humor like this. Fatwah, anyone?
Comment by Joseph P on August 28, 2010 at 9:12am
'Knowing your bible' is a trap set by erudite Christians. It's a complex, turgid, contradictory book, very easy to misquote. If you make a minor factual error about what the bible actually says, the Christians pounce.

Which is why you have your Bible handy to pull quotes from, when talking with Christians.

There's another side to what you said, though. Most Christians aren't erudite ... not even close. 90% don't have any clue what's in their Bible, aside from what little snippets their preacher has fed to them. Lots of those can be converted by showing them what kind of horrors are in their holy book.

Obviously, for the psychos who have actually read their Bible and still believe it to be the literal word of God, you have to take another approach. But, if you're arguing with someone like that, in front of an audience, you can win points with the audience by getting your opponent to admit that the bad stuff in the Bible is holy, in his opinion.
Comment by David Sensei on August 28, 2010 at 8:56am
@Joseph, fair point about reading the bible to 'know thine enemy', as it were. And like it or not, it's an important part of our literary and artistic traditions. But I'm content with a working knowledge of it from Sunday school. If I need more specific info I either 'wiki' it or go to the experts whose word I trust (meaning non-believers). Some of the legwork done by serious atheists quite astonishes me.

I did try reading it when I was eight, being an advanced reader for my age, but I got about halfway through Exodus before I went back to Uncle Scrooge comics, which stimulated my imagination a lot more (RIP Carl Barks). I told my Mum I was up to Joshua.

Two points I'd like to make about this though:

1. Do we really need to read the Bible completely to know that it's nothing more than a hodgepodge of ancient Hebrew mythology, history, and tiresome chronologies and legal pronouncements? Do we need to read the Quran completely to reject the outrageous dogmas of Islam? Or Homer to gain insight into what really happened during the Trojan wars for that matter? Do we need to be raped or brutally beaten to understand the trauma of such a misfortune?

The bible is hoist by its own petard in the very first chapter. 'He rested on the seventh day'. First, God has a sex even before he has created the concept of reproduction. Second, he needed to take a rest. What kind of God is that? What if 'he's' resting when I'm praying for my life? The people who wrote this crap had no grasp at all of the philosophical implications of a 'supreme being'. Do we really need to read on? Even the quasi-humanist sentiments of the new testament, turning the other cheek, loving your neighbor as yourself, considering the lily etc. have long been surpassed by our best humanist thinkers.

2. 'Knowing your bible' is a trap set by erudite Christians. It's a complex, turgid, contradictory book, very easy to misquote. If you make a minor factual error about what the bible actually says, the Christians pounce. But the details are quite unimportant - the message is patently bankrupt no matter what the words say. I prefer the point of view that the whole book is a joke, probably the most elaborate hoax in the history of mankind, and irrelevant to any serious discussion of metaphysics.

@Mike, interesting point about the apple, maybe I should start calling my larynx my Adam's pomegranate. Anyway, Eve is supposed to have eaten first, so how come hers didn't get stuck? Anyway, I like the idea that the forbidden tree of knowledge is lodged in my throat. I hope I can verbalize more of it in the future.

Anyway, enough non-humorous rant. Look for more 'blasphemy with a blunt edge' coming soon.

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