Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

Members: 2105
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago

Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here.

Discussion Forum

Aron Ra: Professional Huckster?!?

Started by Loren Miller Jun 11. 0 Replies

FromThe Onion

Started by Lilac. Last reply by Gary S May 25. 7 Replies


Started by Compelledunbeliever Mar 10. 0 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Atheist Humor to add comments!

Comment by David Sensei on August 28, 2010 at 8:56am
@Joseph, fair point about reading the bible to 'know thine enemy', as it were. And like it or not, it's an important part of our literary and artistic traditions. But I'm content with a working knowledge of it from Sunday school. If I need more specific info I either 'wiki' it or go to the experts whose word I trust (meaning non-believers). Some of the legwork done by serious atheists quite astonishes me.

I did try reading it when I was eight, being an advanced reader for my age, but I got about halfway through Exodus before I went back to Uncle Scrooge comics, which stimulated my imagination a lot more (RIP Carl Barks). I told my Mum I was up to Joshua.

Two points I'd like to make about this though:

1. Do we really need to read the Bible completely to know that it's nothing more than a hodgepodge of ancient Hebrew mythology, history, and tiresome chronologies and legal pronouncements? Do we need to read the Quran completely to reject the outrageous dogmas of Islam? Or Homer to gain insight into what really happened during the Trojan wars for that matter? Do we need to be raped or brutally beaten to understand the trauma of such a misfortune?

The bible is hoist by its own petard in the very first chapter. 'He rested on the seventh day'. First, God has a sex even before he has created the concept of reproduction. Second, he needed to take a rest. What kind of God is that? What if 'he's' resting when I'm praying for my life? The people who wrote this crap had no grasp at all of the philosophical implications of a 'supreme being'. Do we really need to read on? Even the quasi-humanist sentiments of the new testament, turning the other cheek, loving your neighbor as yourself, considering the lily etc. have long been surpassed by our best humanist thinkers.

2. 'Knowing your bible' is a trap set by erudite Christians. It's a complex, turgid, contradictory book, very easy to misquote. If you make a minor factual error about what the bible actually says, the Christians pounce. But the details are quite unimportant - the message is patently bankrupt no matter what the words say. I prefer the point of view that the whole book is a joke, probably the most elaborate hoax in the history of mankind, and irrelevant to any serious discussion of metaphysics.

@Mike, interesting point about the apple, maybe I should start calling my larynx my Adam's pomegranate. Anyway, Eve is supposed to have eaten first, so how come hers didn't get stuck? Anyway, I like the idea that the forbidden tree of knowledge is lodged in my throat. I hope I can verbalize more of it in the future.

Anyway, enough non-humorous rant. Look for more 'blasphemy with a blunt edge' coming soon.
Comment by Joseph P on August 27, 2010 at 8:11pm
but had already promised her anything she wanted as a reward for her exotic dancing.

Well, at least he did it for a good reason, then.

I have better things to do than read the bible.

I dunno, man. It's quite a valuable activity, if you even plan on debating Christians. When you know their Bible better than they do, it automatically makes them look like fools.

It doesn't suck so bad once you get through the Pentateuch. Leviticus and Numbers suck pretty hard, though. Most of the stuff after Deuteronomy is at least better narrative form.
Comment by David Sensei on August 27, 2010 at 7:59pm
For those interested, it appears Doris was the wife of Herod the Great, of 'Massacre of the Innocents' fame (some scholars argue this probably never happened). Salome was the stepdaughter of Herod Antipas, his successor. Apparently Salome requested the head of John the Baptist at the urging of her mother, Herodias. Herod was reluctant to comply, but had already promised her anything she wanted as a reward for her exotic dancing. But who knows for sure how much of any of this is true? I have better things to do than read the bible. I just like desanctifying sacred images - and giving those brilliant but sombre southern renaissance masters a new lease of life. The art world should thank me. No kudos yet though, lol.

I love your foul-mouthed nuns, Mr A.
Comment by Andrew Hall on August 27, 2010 at 6:30pm
The World's First Atheist, Feminist, and Gay Man.
Comment by Mr. Apostate on August 27, 2010 at 2:39pm

Comment by David Sensei on August 27, 2010 at 9:08am
Well there you go. Thanks Mike. I never knew Mrs Herod's name was Doris. Salome must have been helping out in the kitchen between stints with the 'seven veils'.
Comment by David Sensei on August 27, 2010 at 1:47am
Here's some more wholesome heterosexual humor. This one's a real 'groaner'. Sorry ...

Comment by David Sensei on August 26, 2010 at 10:26pm
Jesus was reputed to be of the 'House of David'. Let's trace him back to his roots.

Comment by Joseph P on August 26, 2010 at 10:19pm
Yeah, but he was more relaxed about it, with the exception of the little fit with the merchants in the temple. Back in the Old Testament, God was a pissy little bastard. How many times in Exodus did He almost wipe out the Jews?
Comment by Christopher on August 26, 2010 at 9:58pm
Joseph P, the whole "Hell" whoozit didn't show up till the new testament. The God of the old testament was a twisted fuck without a doubt, but Jesus? He's hate on roids.


Members (2104)



Update Your Membership :




Nexus on Social Media:


© 2017   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service