Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)

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Lewis Black: The Flintstones is not a documentary.

A slightly longer version of the clip that used to be here.

Discussion Forum

Jesus vs Jeezus

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Aug 6. 21 Replies

Four More Cartoons

Started by Gary Canup. Last reply by Joseph P Sep 29, 2015. 7 Replies

The Power of Prayer, and Other Laughables

Started by Gary Canup. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Sep 27, 2015. 6 Replies

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Comment by L Ross on August 15, 2016 at 4:21pm

Thanks, Qiana.  I really like "Put All the Seniors in Prison"!  Would be fun to see this on you-tube to share with friends. 

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on August 15, 2016 at 1:49pm

Here's another along the same idea...

Put All The Seniors In Prison

Here's the way it should be:

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc. They would receive money instead of having to pay it out. They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly... if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes. All meals and snacks would be brought to them. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists. Simple clothing - i.e.. shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon request. There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens. Each senior would have a p.c., t.v., phone and radio in their room at no cost. They would receive daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the aclu would fight for their rights and protection.

The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week.

They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $6,000 per month..

They would have no hope of ever getting out.

In addition, it is a great gated community.

Sounds like justice to me!

Comment by Plinius on August 15, 2016 at 10:51am

I love that one, Quiana! My husband is in a bad state due to troubles at work but he has to struggle on for five years more until retirement...

Comment by Idaho Spud on August 15, 2016 at 5:34am

Qiana, I'm saving that.  I felt the same way when I retired.  I miss 2 of my co-workers, but that's all I miss.

Comment by Daniel Wachenheim on August 14, 2016 at 10:13pm
QM, I should have had that to hang over my workstation during the final couple of months. I miss the sense of purpose but not the dysfunction.
Comment by Qiana-Maieev on August 14, 2016 at 8:09pm

Prison vs. Work

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK....You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...You get three meals a day.
AT WORK....You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay
for it.

IN PRISON...You get time off for good behaviour.
AT WORK....You get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.

IN PRISON...A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK....You must carry around a security card and unlock and
open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON...You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK....You get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...You get your own toilet.
AT WORK....You have to share.

IN PRISON...They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK....You cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON...All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work
AT WORK....You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and
then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...You spend most of your life looking through bars
from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK....You spend most of your time wanting to get out
and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...There are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK....They are called supervisors.

When I finally left my last place of work, it was just like
being released from prison, as I was free to do whatever
I wanted to.

Comment by Idaho Spud on August 10, 2016 at 7:50am

Very funny Thomas.

Comment by Joan Denoo on August 10, 2016 at 4:51am

"verbal diarrhea!" I like that one, Loren. 

Also, fighting over the most peaceful religion, Thomas, and I will use put a bell on god. 

Comment by Plinius on August 10, 2016 at 1:51am


Comment by Qiana-Maieev on August 10, 2016 at 12:24am

Hehehe. Or tie it down, maybe?


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