I absolutely love music. Always have, I used to sing, but puberty and many years of excessive smoking hasn't exactly given me the angelic voice I hear in my head..
I feel an emotional connection with music, it can make me feel great and it can make me nauseous (Only crap music does that to me!) The main reason I play music is because I want to experience the variety of musical instruments used in music and understand it more. Also it's a nice way to relax =D
I play very different music than the music I listen to. (Classical/Jazz vs Hard Rock)
It's the life of a music major, I suppose. One is to get the degree, the other for getting lost in. That's not to say that I don't enjoy classical music, but it has to be really good, intriguing, whathaveyou. Some jazz is absolutely dreadful and obviously contrived and boring. As the husband likes to point out, I frequently ruin music, because it has ruined me.
My favorite stuff to play doesn't have a uniform time or key sig, and my favorite stuff to sing has to be acrobatic... but that's another long-winded, boring explanation.
Sounds like someone with experience, like me. I regurgitate oldies in a band for money, and overall we've done well enough to pay the bills over 23 years. I apprectiate the oldies and don't bash them, because they've put many a roast beast on my holiday table. But my love is to search for new music, challenging music, or special stuff I've never heard before. This requires a commitment of time not spent chasing down gigs, etc, and this can be the factor that keeps many from exploring more freely. Fine with me, I like roaming thru the woods by myself, so to speak. I would guess that music hasn't ruined you. I'd say if you play music you don't care about, it shows, eh? (not from Canada) I call myself the "Steven Wright of rock n roll". Stonefaced from the git-go. People tell me to smile more onstage. I always tell them I'm too busy, and that's true, but I just can't play the part, or don't, because the guitar player handles the role of, rabble-rouser, or party flame. I'm usually satisfied with executing my parts professionally, as long as you toss me a solo once in a while. I'm your ideal bandmate - I just shut up and play.
I am music, music is me. I am also many other things, most of which I express in music. But seriously folks, I play music because it's my job, one that I like a lot. It's just a party band, nothing original, for all you purists. I'm a purist too, but one thing that my regurgitative job has given me is a knowledge about where the new music comes from. People strut and preen a lot, thinking that their musical ideas are as new igneous rock emerging from the molten depths for the first time. I'm here to say "been there, heard that, you're wrong, go back to school." (reference Bono in "Stuck In a Moment") In my life as a musician, I've been exposed to a whole lot. If I could, I'd upload my brain so all my perspectives could be elucidated. I think it could be of value, but I'm just another rocker who struts and preens... I can only hope to converse with like minds, searching minds, about music and about inspirations other than those inspired by God amighty.
I'd like to offer that in my life, as I've tried to objectively observe happenings and people around me, people say one of two things. Either they say, "This event, or this feat must have been devinely inspired", or they say, "The devil was no doubt behind all of this". But in either case, I have observed that it always seems to be not the hand of God or Satan or any other spook, but the efforts of a human or a group of humans that most often is the thing that actually gets the job done. To all those who say, "The devil made me do it" (ya gotta love Geraldine) and to all those who say, "I heard the voice of God command me" (James Kopp, doctor killer and Christian activist), I say, "Bunk!" Own up to your own actions, and take the credit or the blame on your own shoulders. Because if you're deluded into thinking that you had supernatural help, you are robbing yourself of the riches of a life of achievements and failures. Yes, J. S. Bach did all that writing all by himself, sitting all alone at the organ or klavier. Isn't he great? Yes, Sid Vicious did all those nasty, bloody, things to himself on stage. Set the standard for punk performance, didn't he? It wasn't God or the devil, or the bogey man. It was just Johann and Sid, trying to stir it up and make a name for themselves. Am I wrong?