No, that isn't me trying to make a witty pun out of a news story.
For this, I so needed to come out of my end-of-semester hermitage (Hi guys!).
According to Mother Jones Magazine in an article about other idiotic state bans on Sharia Law, we here in Aryanzona take the "What Exactly The Fuck Are We Taxpayers Paying You Fuckwads In Office To Fucking Do" award. On the one hand, Mother Jones is a wildly liberal-slanted mag and can sometimes slant hard enough to topple over. On the other, it's Arizona. I live here. It sounds like exactly the kind of law our Neo Nazi** state hero Russell Pierce and govener-by-accident-because-the-real-gov-got-a-better-job Jan Brewer would conjure up.
My other favorite bit in the article was the finding that Utah's attempt to ban Sharia Law would have crippled the state's ability to do overseas business. And as we all know, we Americans depend pretty heavily on sucking the teats of other countries in order to remain economically and morally superior to those countries.
But enough about my country's somewhat embarrassig teat-sucking.
I would seriously like to know how Arizona would enforce a ban on Karma. How exactly do they intend to prevent Hindu gods - whose existence and superior-to-Jesus divine powers they are now implicitly acknowledging by proposing such a ban - from reincarnating people based on how shitty they were to other people in their past lives?
"We here at Arizona Teabag Central are outraged that Vishnu and friends have chosen to reincarnate our dear friend George, a True Patriot(tm), into a dung beetle. It is simply infuriating that the gods are shoving their so-called 'divine judgement' down our throats and we demand they appear in American(tm) court, preferably in human form, to answer for this travesty to our Freedoms(tm)!"
**(Also not a joke. The man is actually, knowingly, proudly-posed-for-pictures-with and associated with neo-Nazi groups. And along with Jan "OMG ILLEGALS ARE GOING TO BEHEAD YOU" Brewer, is one of the most beloved politicians in Arizona).
So with outlawing the idea of karma, they pretty much set a precedent for outlawing the idea that the world will bring retribution for natural and supernatural justice in all forms. Next step: Santa Claus' infamously judgmental 'naughty or nice' list declared biased against ethics-challenged children by outraged (and useless) parents...and then it's on to heaven and hell.
Thanks Mick - I've been trying to think of Xian equivalents and your Santa example is pretty good. "We demand St. Nicholas answer for putting some of our godly, conservative children on the naughty list!"
I suppose they could also try outlawing Hell. At least that would be acknowledging the existence of their own god(s).
If they want to ban sharia law they only need to make certain that current secular common law is firmly upheld. In one blow they knock down all the sharias and karmas at once... it'll just cost them a little biblical law though. That's a price I'm happy to agree to on their behalf. :)
How would it help outlaw Karma though? Since Karma is not something people do, it's something gods do after you're dead (tally up whether you've been naughty or nice and reincarnate you accordingly)?
Though it wouldn't surprise me to learn that most Americans believe Hindu gods are subject to American law...
I'm guessing they've heard that Buddhists call it a law sometimes, and so they think it's an actual set of human laws like sharia. Moronic shitheads.
This made me look up Karma on Wikipedia. Interesting reading, I learned some things. I thought it was just sort of, your collections of thoughts and actions automatically led to your state of being in the next life. It's more complex than that.
Jo, I think the Hindu gods might be subject to Arizona law, but not American law.
Wait, what?!? Are you fucking serious? Is that accurate, Jo?
This is seriously some of the scariest, yet funniest stuff I have ever read. I can imagine some politician going further and trying to add an attachment to the bill, strictly prohibiting The Hindu Gods from re-incarnating any Christians, with the exception of Mormons.
The ban on Karma's a smokescreen. Reading the bill it looks like they're trying to set up precedent stating that while the Federal government isn't permitted to establish an official religion under the 1st Amendment Arizona itself is definitely allowed to under the 10th so long as it's not specifically sectarian but broadly protestant.
This is a pretty vile piece of legislation all told.
PRINCIPLES ON WHICH THE UNITED STATES WAS
Now all they have to do is push that shit about the US being founded on Christian principles, and bingo. Theocracy.
What's hilarious is the Anglo-American bit. So it's a mixture of English and American legal tradition, even though America was founded by people fleeing (among other things) the English laws that made it perfectly acceptable for the government to murder people for being the wrong religion.
When did Arizona become South Carolina?