While part of me wants to laugh, the rest of me feels very sorry for this guy. If he hadn't been so warped into thinking his natural state (gay) was "an abomination" he could potentially be in a fulfilling relationship, rather than masturbating in a park. Or, ya know, he could just be getting lots of consensual safe sex. Either one would be better than this.
Well, if a man can't masturbate in the woods in front of undercover cops then the this country has truly fallen and the terrorist have won! Anyway, if he wants out of this all he need do is start crying then say "I have sinned" in a nice loud voice. Or, should that prove weak sauce, he might try the old Devil Made Me Do It defense. It worked for Geraldine for years.
His crime of indecent exposure would never have happened if his sexuality was simply permitted by his family and friends. His poor judgement in this was directly resultant of the morality of his church. Christianity caused this crime and should be discouraged in young people to avoid mass outbreaks of copy cat park wanking.