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Atheists, Addictions, 12 Step Recovery, and Alternatives

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Trouble with drugs (including alcohol) or other potential addictions? Tried 12 step recovery and found it wanting? You're welcome here.

Members: 120
Latest Activity: Dec 28, 2015

7 members like this

Desiderata (Revised)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with it, whatever you conceive it to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Discussion Forum

I was once a druggie, now overeating has taken it's place

Started by Gwen Bailey. Last reply by Gerald Payne Nov 1, 2015. 1 Reply 0 Likes

Sex, love, porn

Started by Misha H.. Last reply by Misha H. Jul 7, 2015. 5 Replies 0 Likes

RSS

I was once a druggie, now overeating has taken it's place

Hi, I'm new here. This is my first post so here goes. I came from a christian family but spent most of my life rebelling against it. There were two times when I lived as an out and out christian these both happened after a time of heavy drug taking, mainly LSD, pot, coke, smack etc. Now I've been living a number of years as an overweight christian. So that tells you I was never healed of my addiction (drugs or food) even though I did a couple of recovery courses in the church I went to. I…

Sex, love, porn

I am carving out a space for those dealing with sex, love, and porn addictions with the hope of establishing a closed group where we can share confidentially. Generally the public shaming of these behaviors, even among other addicts, makes it difficult to obtain help and speak freely about these issues. This discussion, however is not private, so please send me a message if you would like to be part of a group only open to those working to leave such behaviors behind. …

Drug addiction isn't a disease

Neuroscientist: Why It's Dangerously Wrong to Approach Addiction as a Kind of Disease

Neuroscientist, psychologist and former addict Marc Lewis offers a refreshing take on addiction that fits with other research I've read.

To have a disease — instead of, say, a dangerous habit — is to be powerless to do anything except apply the…

Fictional look at AA culture in a zombie apocolypse setting

A book just came out by a New York lawyer by day, 12 Step prowler and author by night who goes by the pen name Michele Miller.

The setting is this new zombie apocalypses craze, a la Walking Dead or WWZ, neither of which I have every seen. I don't make time for this genre of story…

The growing secular voice in 12 Step Recovery

I am really happy to find this community. I was reading about the introduction of a secular 12 Steps to NA World Service. That sounds like a great idea that will meet some resistance. Organizations either adapt or reify into obscurity. AA is having a hard time getting a spirituality pamphlet approved by the Conference floor and some say it's because the inclusion of atheists and agnostics talking about their AA life is untenable to some of the more superstitious members.

I do like…

Back in "Sober Living facility" and getting beat over the head w/the "Bill's Big Book" need suggestions!

Hi, I just got out of detox (from Methadone/Buprenorphine) and have managed to land myself in a 3/4 house. I haven't had time to read all the posts here yet but just wanted to re-introduce myself. I've been a member of Atheist Nexus for a while now but I don't remember finding this particular group. But there's a lot I may not remember lol. Anyway all atheist help will be appreciated!

New in recovery

I have one week of sobriety. I am glad that I found this group. I went to an AA meeting and hated it because of the talk of a higher power. Being brand new at sobriety I could use any support and friendship that I can find.

Looking for something better than Alanon

Hi Folks! I've been part of Atheist Nexus for years, but haven't been all that active recently. My husband (a superstitious, anti-organized-religion, theist) started attending AA meetings last year, and suggested I start attending Alanon. I can't stand the opening/closing prayers, the reading to the 12 steps, most of which makes reference to god/higher power. I feel like everyone at these meetings drank the coolaid, and I wonder what brainwashing is going on in the AA meetings my husband is…

Confronting the Fellowship of NA.

Greetings All,

My name is Bill, and I am currently involved with the NA program. Im not a cookie-cutter member of the fellowship, as it were. My program does not involve the use of a god, and I feel my recovery is solid, as I have mulitiple years clean. My current journey brings me to the position of confronting the fellowship as a whole, about the inherent bias that runs through the literature/mtgs. They (NA, and the ppl involved) say that it is up to the…

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Comment by Ian Mason on July 7, 2015 at 1:11pm: Reno, I wouldn't dare to suggest a tactic for you to adopt. I had a high sex drive for many years without the charm to get it sated. However, when I finally gave in to having my psychiatric problems treated (atypical OCD/depression) with SSRI medicins, the urge slowly faded. So I really don't know what to say. I still, after many years sober, feel the desire to drink but I counter that with all the bad memories of what the mornings after were like and of all the damage I did to others. That's about it. I wish there was more I could do for you. Have you any ideas yourself?

Comment by reno barber on July 7, 2015 at 12:25pm: Have tried lots of therapy..it is an addiction, just like yours...a compulsion, a feeling of joy and elation when feeding it, but of misery when not.... and, it is becoming more common...I need help, and am an atheist... was hoping it was here

Comment by Misha H. on July 7, 2015 at 9:36am: Ian, there are differences between addictive urges that require unique forms of support and therapy. Some urges are illegal, for example, such as narcotics, gambling, and prostitution. Others are deeply shameful, even to other addictive types. Some are inherently self destructive, and with sex addiction, usually destructive to others. So while addictive behaviors share psychological mechanisms, the hurdles faced by the addict seeking help are unique, and the types of therapy and social support vary greatly. An alcoholic or heroin addict can define "sobriety" more precisely than a compulsive overwater or sex addict, and so those addicts need particular help in developing healthy eating and sexual behaviors. I am super lucky to live in a city chock full of recovery industry help (only partly being sarcastic here), but in some parts of the world, there's nothing, or only religious groups.

Comment by Ian Mason on July 7, 2015 at 5:39am: I really don't know, Reno. Is the sex drive different from the urge to use intoxicants? Have you tried any form of psychotherapy?

Comment by reno barber on July 6, 2015 at 4:08pm: Is this group for me???? I am a struggling sex addict, and militant atheist, and not finding ANY secular help, anywhere..the 12 step groups say that they can help, just ignore the higher power part, but, when you go to the group, they wanna pray, pray for you, bless you, etc.... in need here

Comment by Misha H. on June 8, 2015 at 11:44pm: Thanks, Joe. There certainly are a lot of metaphors in twelve step world. I find a lot of good people and honesty, and a lot of nonsense, but I try to take it one metaphor at a time.

Comment by Joe C on June 4, 2015 at 11:05am: Hey Misha, you have that right - it's not just the theism in AA's twelve steps, it's also full of Judeo/Christian morality, too. The idea of powerlessness and insanity are contentious. Are these things true? It is for some and not for others. Is addiction a disease? NA talks about addiction the disease like it's a scientific fact; some AA's do, too, but for many, it's just a metaphor.

Blogs and podcasts from critics within AA:

http://rebelliondogspublishing.com

http://aaagnositca.org

You might already know TheFix.com, it has some critical exposes about 12-Step modality and culture. Some are harsh fault-finding rants (but still entertaining) and others are more analytical.

AA and NA are evolving. There is more literature for and by atheists in recovery than every before. In 2010 there were two books, now there are a dozen good ones. Some like to rely on SMART, SOS, Sobriety for Women for their main recovery platform and complement that with AA meetings. If you live in an urban area there are so many groups and they're all different: six people, six-hundred, ritualistic with lots of readings and protocol, anything goes discussion groups, liberal meetings, conservative meetings, religious overtones, secular meetings. Some meetings invite critical discussion and others are more evangelical.

I say meetings/groups are like bars; some of them make you feel totally uncomfortable and you can't wait to get out, some make you feel right at home, right away and still others take some getting use to.

Comment by Misha H. on June 4, 2015 at 12:48am: I am interested in critiques of 12 step work, not only based on the god/higher power terminology, but the religious structures built into the process - sin, confession, etc. Anyone know of anyone who has written about that? To me, while I appreciate meetings and such, my issues with the steps themselves can't be resolved by secularizing the vocabulary.

Comment by Joe C on January 4, 2015 at 1:40am: Durker, I don't know if KC is driving distance for you:

http://www.weagnosticsaa.com/

Comment by Joe C on January 4, 2015 at 1:37am: http://www.agnosticaanyc.org/worldwide.html

That's a worldwide site of A.A. meetings for atheists & agnostics, no praying, no god-talk, just peer to peer help. there are several Facebook and Google and Yahoo groups for freethinkers, secular humanists, atheists, et al. more links can be found here:

http://rebelliondogspublishing.com/rebel-links

there are now several books writing by nonbelievers about getting sober and clean with or without 12 Steps.