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Could you date a highly religious person?

I couldn't. I've never had a relationship with a woman who was very religious. I think it would be a constant source of disagreement. OTOH, Darwin was married to a religious woman for most of his life, so it does happen. What has been your experience?

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Permalink Reply by Double Standards??? on December 23, 2009 at 11:46am

I could NEVER date a highly religious woman. There would be conflict. I don't share their values. I don't want children, however if I fell in love and decided I wanted to have children, I would want them to come to their own conclusions free from manipulation by adults or the indoctrinated children religious people. Oh yeah, and they would be offended by my jokes.

Permalink Reply by Charles on December 23, 2009 at 9:37pm

My last ex-girlfriend was cool.She never treated me poorly for my non-belief but the woman before her was terrible.She was Catholic and deeply religious.Pictures of Jesus all over the house.I can't deal with a religious person like that.That's why we broke up.

Permalink Reply by SJ on January 17, 2010 at 8:31am

I dated a girl whom I later found out was a fundy. She wasn't open to the possibilities that the bible was wrong, even though I showed her what was inconsistent. I then showed her the Hubble Deep Field image (always sends shivers up my spine). She responded that god could do anything....no sense of wonder or awe, just that. The final straw was when she changed the cover of Free Inquiry, she changed Carl Sagan to Carl Satan. I asked her why and she said that he was evil, I asked her why he was evil.....she didn't know why, he just was. At that point, I decided to avoid religious women in the future. Also, she didn't enjoy receiving oral sex. :(

Permalink Reply by Carolyn R on January 29, 2010 at 8:33pm

Definitely not. The only people I've ever known who were "highly religious" were Christians, and I'm a huge bigot there, I would not, under any circumstances ever date someone who was even slightly Christian. Even people who claim to be "Diest" give me the creeps. I'm a female, so according to their one book I'm evil, because one of my gender was curious and ate some fruit. I'm not sleeping with anyone who doesn't laugh out loud at that idea. My body, my fertility, pleasure, beauty, this very earth, these are all bad things to them - what about that is supposed to appeal to me? Plus if a wad of them ever showed up at my door wanting to drag me into the street and burn me alive, would I want the one in my bed to be trying to decide between me and the space monster he's in an abusive relationship with? No way, gross. I've seen that book of theirs, they're praying to a Balrog. I'm not attracted to people who pray to Balrogs, thanks.

I could probably date a Buddhist, for the reasons mentioned by others, and that I can't imagine Buddhists wanting to sacrifice me to their space monster. I can't imagine a real Buddhist wanting to date me though. I could date a pagan, heathen, someone who practiced Klingon folk belief, or whatever other joke thing, cartoon satanism, etc. they'd probably stand with me against the theoretical raving mob. I wouldn't date a Jedi because I hate Star Wars.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on January 31, 2010 at 11:43pm

the space monster he's in an abusive relationship with

THAT, is one of the best descriptions of religion I've heard in a very long time!

And I'm with you on the last bit. I could get along with a moderate Buddhist, Pagan, even Hindu. Any of those paths (and versions thereof) that don't directly conflict with scientific exploration. But a monotheist? A strict/fundamentalist anything?

Even the ones who say they're still ok with science. Why? How can you hold two wildly opposing beliefs at once? That in and of itself is seriously messed up.

Permalink Reply by Carolyn R on February 1, 2010 at 10:12am

Thanks! I tend to feel a bit embarrassed about my irrationality at times, because my default mode is not just to laugh at superstition, but to assume for a moment it's real for the person experiencing it, and then wonder about what it means. I'm not totally rational myself, I entertain the odd delusion or two; although I do prize rationality, I don't always achieve it.

But seriously, apply that to monotheism in particular - a genderless flaming monster from space, they refer to it as "He" not because it has genitals, but as an honorific because it supports misogyny. It tells them to hate and kill, to sacrifice their children, gives them all kinds of weird rules, and demands they love it, for the hope of living with it up in space somewhere, while everyone who displeases it will be tortured forever in some fiery dimension it made for just that purpose. It's straight out of Lovecraft. The weirdness of seeing it or it's minions native forms is even supposed to melt your face off, so they put on disguises when they come to our world to rape us or ensnare us in their strange machinations. I don't know where people come up with the idea of kissing it's big fiery ass. Isn't the natural and reasonable response to being threatened by some massive fire monster from space HOSTILITY? Assuming I believed in that thing, I'd personally tend to want to try to kill it, rather than worship it. So... even if I assume a monotheist isn't just making things up, I can't get next to that. And assuming they are grooving on a made-up myth (which is of course the case) how is that myth in any way wholesome? I'm happy to hang out with people who worship stuff from the Cthluhu mythos, for a JOKE, but seriously, I'm not dating someone who prays to something that belongs in the Monster Manual.

Permalink Reply by Tabi on February 11, 2010 at 11:40pm

All my relationships have been with religious people, and now I severely regret it. I have come to realize, that with me, it just will not work out! I need to be with a like-minded person, someone who is neither spiritual or relligious!

Permalink Reply by Noah Petersen on February 12, 2010 at 11:14am

I will probably never date a religious person again, unless maybe a Buddhist. Never another monotheist though, espeically a Christian.

Permalink Reply by J.P.M. on February 12, 2010 at 2:37pm

My first wife came from a very Catholic family, whereas I have always been atheist (since the age of about 6 - no kidding). I refused to marry her in a Catholic ceremony, so we compromised and had a civil ceremony in a small chapel (only the superficial trappings of religion, without the mumbo jumbo). But she was not very religious and very private about her beliefs, whatever they really were. My second wife was atheist, so no problem there. Now that I am single again, it is something of a problem trying find a date, living in Kansas and all. But I am adamant that "I don't do christians". I share the sentiment several have expressed that, in order to be serious about someone, I have to respect them. I can't respect anyone who buys into a pre-packaged belief system rather than thinking for themselves. That said, I guess the key word in the subject is 'highly' - if a person is private about some personal spirtual feelings that is just fine. As long as they don't run their lives according to some divine ordination or expect me to, I guess not all forms of 'spirituallity' would be a deal-breaker. But maybe I'm just getting old and desperate...

Permalink Reply by Cobbie Tigerpaw on August 5, 2010 at 11:05am