Your searching through an on-line dating site. You find someone that seems smart, interesting, and even good looking and then you find a line like this in their profile;

" God is #1 in my life! Without him we are nothing! I am so blessed:D! If you can't handle that, you can't handle me! "

Such a buzzkill.. On the other hand though, it is kinda nice to have such an easy way of detecting this specific form of craziness. Wouldn't dating be easier if other such psychotic shortcomings were proudly portrayed on their profiles? (PPPP?)

"Oh and BTW! I Like to hit women! So if you can't accept that then YOU CAN"T ACCEPT ME!!"


"FYI I get a little jealous, and if you ever do anything to make me imagine you might have cheated on me, in real life or in a dream, I will cut off your penis in your sleep!! If you've got a problem with that then DON'T BOTHER!"


"I enjoy sex once maybe even TWICE!!! a month, so if you can't keep up , don't bother e-mailing me!!"


"Me and my cats are VERY close, if you get between us and our peanut butter you WON'T LAST LONG WITH ME!"


"I like to put holes in condoms, Deal With It!"


"Me and my Brother are VERY close, If you CAN'T Handle That KEEP ON LOOKING"


"Meth isn't so bad, If you don't agree then BUH-BYE"


"I prefer a man who can hit me every now and then to keep me in line! If your not a misogynistic bastard, THEN DON'T WINK AT ME!"


"I have no respect for the term monogamy, our bodies (and stds) are meant to be shared freely! If you DON"T LIKE IT, HIT THE X BUTTON IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER!"


"I still sleep in princess pajamas and have 739 stuffed unicorns in my bedroom! If you Have a Problem with that, GOODBYE!"

Really. Someone start a dating site that asks these questions. I think I could really be onto something here.

Feel free to add your own!

**** New additions

"My mother still controls every aspect of my life, so if you can't take orders from her SEE YA!"


"I like to get drunk and mistake the hall closet for the toilet. If cleaning up my urine isn't funny to you LOOK ELSEWHERE!!"


"Savings accounts are for pussies. If you expect me to live within my means GET REAL!"

... And those are all just my ex-husband...


"I prefer the company of electronics over vagina. If you can't handle that - buy a vibrator."

"I have no desire to expand my horizons and expect to eat Velveeta shells and cheese every night of my life and nothing but. If you can't handle that - go out to dinner alone."

"My job comes number #1 over everything else, despite the fact it's an unimportant job that doesn't make a difference in the world, is a poor excuse of a career, and has little room for advancement which offers little finacial benefits anyway even if you do advance. If you can't handle this - it's not my problem. Get a hobby"

"I'm really not that well endowed. If you can't handle that, grow your hymen back."


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Replies to This Discussion

Shit, Little Pants! You made me laugh so hard I almost woke the baby - and I've read this post before I think it was "grow your hymen back" that did it for me. *wipe tears*
Meh, we are funny, funny ladies.
Yeah, just because evolution played a cruel trick on him, doesn't mean it should play one on you :)

Sadly at this point I'd just be happy to not have such a stockpile of batteries...
Hey now, I didn't say what I *do* with the batteries! Clearly you're mind went to a dirtier place than mine :p
Women can do exercises to tighten up; as far as I know, men can't really do much to get thicker.
Um, no you haven't. You haven't even posited a hypothesis yet; you certainly haven't eliminated all possibilities; and your conclusion was not clearly stated. (Fail)
haha, actually there are a LOT of totally misogynist guys on A/N so sorry for taking you seriously there Antoyne
Lol! sorry... that last one was great! Lol!
Oh wow, I so would've responded to such an ad, mostly for the lolz. "You're not my REAL dad" was the best part (says the single mom).
Very good!
Wow... I'm half tempted to post this myself on craigs list just for the entertainment value.
I have an account on Yahoo Singles (about to expire,) and guys don't seem to read profiles very well. I made a pointed point of my atheism, and yet I get nibbles from guys who "attend services weekly." Latest signed himself J----- the Nazarite and used the salutation "blessed be." Schizo much?
Anyway. I never planned to collect stray cats, but when they turn up at my doorstep in sad shape after being tossed out by the Bible-thumping Xians who surround me, I let 'em come inside. I don't always go to bed with a cat, but I always wake up with one. So, if you haven't had toxoplasmosis yet, this is your chance!


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