I know all women say that they want romance in a relationship, but im so serious after the bullshits all said and done you realize how important a little spice in a relationship is. Its really nice to feel loved and cared about so many guys are just not understanding of those things. They get to a point where they feel like they have you "locked down" so to speak and they stop being spontaneous and romantic..wtf!! So in my next relationship I have romance as number one on my checklist-who's with me? I want your feedback.-Dark Cypress

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Romance is not unreasonable to ask for. Passion is everywhere if people would allow themselves to feel it. I'm older than you by a good margin, I bet, (and male) and I still think being heedlessly enamored and expressing it is a wonderful thing. More power to you! (And to me, I guess, now that I've said that. Need to take my own advice.) See NUMB3RS.
Sam. A woman as pretty as you are has a distinct advantage. If I lived in MI. Id totaly be buying candles right now! Lol! Don't worry... there are still guys out there that are filled with romance. Keep looking!

I'm not sure you're right there, Robert.


Being pretty gives a woman a larger choice - but attractive men are rarely romantic because they can get all the breeding opportunities they need without having to work for them.


Conversely, ugly gits like me have to work - and hard!

Jeez, if only I could find a girl interested in a little romance with ME. I do see so many couples out at the "clubs" (small town here, so they're uh.... fall a bit short of real clubs), girl's all dressed up, looking hot, and her guy is just some trashy looking douche with his ratty jeans sagged around his butt, 3 day old neck hair growth, and a smelly hoodie. Then he gets hammers and pukes outside in the parking lot. How romantic.


Seriously, I don't get why girls are with guys like that. I'd love to surprise and delight a girl once in a while. It seems they don't want romance any more. Just booze and weed.

I'd like a stable relationship, honestly, and I don't think spontaneity is necessarily indicative of romance. Call me jaded or disillusioned, but I haven't worried about romance in a long time. At this point, I'd just like to find someone I have a lot in common with that likes to hang out, watch movies, read, whatever. Something interesting, but in a different way.

I've lost my trust in dating because in my last two relationships, my boyfriends were charming, loving and romantic for about 6 months--just until I was hooked.  Then they shut down, backed off and I was left wondering what happened.  The first time took me a couple years of waiting and wishing for the guy I thought I knew to appear again.  The second time I got out much quicker.  


Now I have a wonderful dog who loves only me!  

Yes, I regret the years I wasted on women who were, it turns out, just using me.  Never again, that; the first time she shows her true colors, I'm gone.


I'm curious - how do you usually meet guys?

What is romantic to you? What he (and I) thinks, and most guys for that matter, is romantic may not be what you think is romantic and vice versa.

Nope.  Tried that. 

Poetry, compliments, flowers, massages, music, cooking, etc. did nothing to keep either of my major relationships.  Not a day would pass when I wouldnt tell my women that i loved them and that I would trade a life in the sun for a single loving smile.  There is more to a relationship than expectations.  Looking for a single point of failure or success is a poor plan. 

However, if you had to pick two items to demand I would go with communication and reciprocity.


My soon to be ex-wife and I were married for 26 great years. But over time we just grew in different directions.  Our interests and priorities went askew. We love each other still. But we have no common ground to keep us together. Romance is a temporal thing, in any relationship it eventually winds down and then it's the common ground that decides if your relationship continues. I think that if you are in a relationship that depends on a specific behavior, like romance, it's going to fail. People change. But heck what do I know. I'm getting divorced after spending half of my life being married.

Im sorry to hear that Philip.  I agree with what you've said, but not with the tone you have unjustly used against yourself.

Ive been married to two women (different times, Im not a bigamist) for half of my life.  You grow together or you grow apart and there is no implicit fault in the latter.  

Nothing to be sorry about. I'm a shut in, but I learned very quickly on this site that no matter what you have to say you will get spanked, so I try to leave everything like "what do I know' other wise people come after you.


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