I have only been able to be serious about finding a woman since a little after i turned 27. Before that, I thought I wanted a woman, yet finding a woman was also some far off, mystical goal and not something that seemed realistic. I was also under the control of the virus of Judaism and the virus made me think a girl had to be Jewish; I was afraid to talk to non-Jewish girls. I used to be on Adult friend finder, because I thought I would find a woman by being on the site, and I thought the only problem was that I was afraid to register for it, but the site did not work for me. Most women on the site are not serious; they joined for free and you can converse with non-paying members if you separately pay to be able to converse with each one you want to converse with. I paid to be able to send messages to other paying members only.
I was on match .com and I would send messages, and then I never got even one response. I did get annoying messages which said "congratulations! [name of girl] has accepted your offer!" What offer!? I didn't get any communication!
I'm now just on okcupid, and I've been conversing with a girl who is too big and has a dog. I'm kind of afraid of animals, but I didn't say anything about animals to her. We have sent over 50 messages back and fourth. Every 5 or 10 messages, she says a few sentences, and the rest of the time she just responds with a one word, vapid, acknowledgement which is actually a piece of drivel, like "Lol" or sometimes she will give another one word answer to a question that should have implied at least another senctence long answer or even better, a few sentences. But I have conversed a little with at least 20 other women, and every one of them gave up because I asked them about their religion or mentioned penile mutilation or mentioned somewhere that I'm not comfortable around animals. One woman gave up because I asked her about her job, and she is a college residence hall director. Another girl, who happened to be the ugliest person I ever saw, actually contacted me first, but she gave up quickly because I asked her to send me one of the photographs she had taken; she said she was studying photography at a community college.
I've had conversations with some people online, who do that sort of thing. When your only response to a subject is 'lol', I don't have anything to go on in continuation of the conversational flow. I'm not that much of a bore that I can carry on a conversation with myself ... well, okay, but I'm trying to cut back.
I don't know if it's a matter of talking over their heads or what, but I can't keep up the interest of even communicating with someone, if I get responses like that more than a few times. They're just complete conversation killers.
"with a girl who is too big" and a "girl who is the ugliest person I've ever seen" WTF?
No, no, you're not mature enough. You're insanely shallow and your standards are obviously too high.
What are you expecting, to find a supermodel who is just aching to date you? It's not gonna happen, girls like that can get ANYONE, so re-evaluate your standards before you go seeking a girl.
Adult friend finder has a reputation as a hook-up site for those seeking casual sex and flirtation. I would not recommend it for those seeking a serious relationship.
Regarding your "LOL" woman, you obviously like to write and converse. Stay away from any profiles where the woman's personal essay was short, or she was not able to express herself.
Be upfront (mention in your profile) that you are an atheist, don't drink, and are not comfortable around animals. Don't worry that this will exclude a lot of women from contacting or responding to you. This is a good thing. You are not looking for a lot of women, you are only looking for one. So if you don't exclude the incompatible ones right away, then online dating is going to be very frustrating and disappointing for you.
That said, I think I'd recommend that you avoid the subject of penile mutilation on the first date. As a matter of fact, avoid it for the first six months, no matter how strongly you feel about it.
And the problem is that once a site has a reputation for something like that, that's the kind of business it tends to draw, even if that wasn't the initial intent.
Nothing really exciting, over here. I've met maybe 9 or 10 people from personals sites. I've dated I think three of them for any meaningful amount of time. No outstanding breakup issues that I haven't mentioned plenty of other times, elsewhere, on here.
I've communicated with several other women that I never got together with, in person. Those usually ran into a problem over religion. I've gotten a vibe off of several ... the sort where she says she's fine with my atheism, but I'm picking up clues that she's going to start pushing it on me once we're a few months into the relationship.
Then there was one who was 250 or 300 miles away and had two kids. I just wasn't up for dealing with that kind of scenario. Dating is complicated enough, as it is, without adding in those sorts of hurdles.
Mostly though, in terms of dates that have evolved into actual relationships, I've had friends hook me up with friends of theirs or have met girls through various social groups.
I've only recently joined OKC. So in terms of dating sites, I'm a newbie. I did, however, date a guy I met off the internet, through meetup.com. It would have been a good relationship if he didn't have this habit of not talking to me for weeks after bad shiznit happened to him. I gave him a couple chances before telling him off.
Oh yeah, I know all about it. I have a friend who's a really hot Colombian girl. I'm not her type, so we resolved the romance question a long time ago. As a result, I get to be her token gay friend, and she's shown me the messages from her inbox on Yahoo Personals, back when that still existed. It was SUCH hilarious good times.
And awwww, why don't you have up one of the pictures with your glasses? You look cute in those.
I've never been on a date online or other. All my relationships have been spontaneous as in I we both were in agreement immediately that something was going on between us the minute we met. Of course most of my relationships have died out within 2 to 3 years. My last one lasted 26. The point I wanted to make, and it's probably my age, is that I thought looking online would increase my chances of having a spontaneous relationship but I can see that that is impossible. It's far too easy to be dishonest, tangential, misleading..., unlike in person. I can't imagine getting that same incredible feeling of 2 people connecting online and I am addicted.