Not counting the first 8 years (blame those on my parents - when I could think rationally I did), I have been a life-long atheist. I put that right in my profile ALWAYS. So why is it almost every message I get is from someone who claims to be an xtian? I understand it from the people who just message me with a "hi" or a "let's hook up" (they can't read big words), but from people who have an otherwise nice and interesting profile or people who obviosly read mine thoroughly..I just don't get it.

If your profile says "Christian and quite serious about it" why would you try to date an "atheist and quite serious about it"?

Do they really think they could convert me this late in the game?

Xtians make no sense to me..


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Relax, Kelly.  Those responses are probably cut-and-paste form letters ;-)

Have you considered the possibility that they may be completely OK with you being an atheist?  After all, I'm an atheist, and I've dated plenty of Christians.  I don't try to convert them, and they don't try to convert me - so we get along fine.  What's the problem? 


As long as you each respect the other's right to believe what they like, that's enough.  It's not necessary for two people to agree on every little thing.  Of course, I know there are some people who are intolerant of others, and simply can't stand the thought that someone else might not agree with their point of view.  But failing that, there's no reason why theists and atheists can't date, or even marry.  It doesn't need to be a problem unless you make it one.


Frankly, if I restricted myself to only people who agreed with me on everything, I'd probably never date again.  I'm not that militant about it. Maybe the people you're encountering are similarly tolerant.

There's a possibility of it working out, but it's a slim one.  One of the problems is what you mentioned about respecting other people's right to believe what they like.  In a romantic relationship, that's not necessarily sufficient.  There needs to be some respect for the beliefs themselves.  Even if you don't share someone's beliefs, you should at least be able to respect the method by which the beliefs were developed.

I have difficulty respecting people's belief in a deity, unless it's some vague emotional blanket that they're not able to let go of, but which has absolutely no impact on their life.  Serious Christians aren't likely to be able to accept an atheist's lack of belief in a deity.  They're likely to submerge the issues while the hormones are in full effect, but once the hormones wear off and it's time to form a real relationship, the problems start popping up everywhere.  I've had it happen a few times.

Well said.
Would be nice every once in a while, though. You should leave that approach behind at the bar.
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.  You took that as a personal attack?  Touchy, aren't we?  That's usually a sign of something, isn't it?
Tsk, tsk, Joseph; such an idealist!  (smile)
Yeah, I know.  You'd think I would learn, wouldn't you?  Thank God I'm a lesbian.

Sadly, it works both ways.  Humans are visual creatures, and judge others largely on appearance.


Woman gets a note from guy; looks at his picture.  If he's not hot, she hits "Delete".  Again, no higher thought process involved.



I don't think it's that bad... though I could be out of the norm... but if a guy isn't smiling or has a spazzed out look on his face, then I'm gonna be wary. You should at least put a good shot of yourself, and not one where you look like you just rolled out of bed. (You in the general sense.)
So do you think catoloilCs that smoke are going to hell?




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