Research: The Benefits Of Monogamy
Personally I consider monogamy as the best form of a balanced mating system, because it causes the least suffering to women.
But research also indicates benefits of mongamy. This article compares monogamous with polygynous marriages.
But on a more subtle level, the promicuous jerks, who ruthlessly manipulate as many women as they can by hook or crook into being their prey, also cause not only pain to the used women, but also social ruptures similar to what has been described in the article. While in polygyinous society the less successful men do not find a wife, under a promiscuous social norm, the less successful men are also competing for scarce prey.
"In cultures that permit men to take multiple wives, the intra-sexual competition that occurs causes greater levels of crime, violence, poverty and gender inequality than in societies that institutionalize and practice monogamous marriage."
"Considered the most comprehensive study of polygamy and the institution of marriage, the study finds significantly higher levels rape, kidnapping, murder, assault, robbery and fraud in polygynous cultures. ...., these crimes are caused primarily by pools of unmarried men, which result when other men take multiple wives."
"The greater competition increases the likelihood men in polygamous communities will resort to criminal behavior to gain resources and women, he says."
"According to Henrich, monogamy's main cultural evolutionary advantage over polygyny is the more egalitarian distribution of women, which reduces male competition and social problems. By shifting male efforts from seeking wives to paternal investment, institutionalized monogamy increases long-term planning, economic productivity, savings and child investment, the study finds."
"Monogamous marriage also results in significant improvements in child welfare, including lower rates of child neglect, abuse, accidental death, homicide and intra-household conflict, the study finds."
Breaking promises is the main cause of suffering in human relationships. If there was one commandment I would make for humanity it is:
KEEP THE PROMISES YOU MAKE
Contraindication= promises made under duress don't count!
Coming from someone who has been (albeit, not by choice) celebate, the past near-three years, I have to say the usage of "promiscuity" on non-monogamous lifestyle being used as a slur! It's on the same level as equating homosexuality with beastiality. Myself, I lean towards monogamy. I do, however, see polyamoury as a valid lifestyle and sexual orientation. It's not for everyone. I gotta say, too, the more people involved, the more concerted effort needs to be exerted---like others have said, keep everyone on the same page.
Cheating is cheating, and it doesn't have anything to do with polyamoury. A person who claims polyamoury when they cheat, or in order to cheat, while keeping their partner in the dark is not the same as people who come together, open and honest, about their expectations for one another.
One other thing that made me just facepalm with this research article was mentioning Japan being monogamous. Hardly. Marriage here is very different and sex outside marriage is so common it's expected. Some couples become more like siblings to the point that in-marriage sex is abhorred. And the author quoted it as joining the ranks with the "monogamous" West.
I'm sorry if someone here got burned by an ex-partner. I really am. It hurts whenever a relationship ends, with or without cheating involved. But it just is not the same. If you end a relationship because he/she is polygamous and you're not, then you just have to come to terms. It's their orientation, and I'm sorry it hurt you, but better to end things on that note than pretend it's hunkydory.
I'm sick and tired of people lashing out at other people for having a different lifestyle than what they think is proper. Can you imagine how it'd sound if this article was saying the same thing about homosexuality (Civilization benefits from heterosexuality over homosexuality.)--? Absurd.
I don't usually get mad about stuff. I'm usually the peacemaker in things... but it really ticks me off when people attack others for not being "proper" or mainstream or "normal." I'll be over here, facepalming. kthx
Thanks, Nerdlass. Your input is always appreciated.
I can assure you I am not promiscuous. But it's not for a lack of trying.