My girlfriend got pregnant and wants me to marry her so she can stay in Canada and have the child. I however am very aware of the unevenly yoked rule that the church preaches. I fear the marriage wont work for this reason and I have seen many occasions where the guy refuses to get "saved" and the pastor forces the woman to leave. I dont love her but maybe I could. I have to think of my child too. What do you guys think?

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"save yourself, kill them all" -Hannibal Lecter
If by totally inappropriate you mean totally appropriate, then yes. ;)

I'm not sure what "unevenly yoked" rules you are talking about.


It's a theistic term.  Personally, I find the metaphor absolutely hilarious, particularly considering that it's the theists who use it.  It's comparing the believer to an ox/horse and the religion as the cart that they have to drag around.  Unevenly ... as in Protestants and Catholics ... liberal Protestants and the whack-a-loons, like the Pentecostals or Southern Baptists.


The term tends to particularly be used by the more fundamentalist sects, in my experience, which seems like a big uh-oh, in this situation.  If his girlfriend's church elders would have a problem with someone unevenly yoked, say like a Catholic, I can imagine how they'd feel about the yoke-less.


As for his title question, though?  Hell no.  When you're marrying someone that you have reservations about, who's pushing for marriage because of the deportation issues you mentioned ... all while she's hopped up on pregnancy hormones.  I'd be very careful about it.  I have no idea what the alimony laws are like in Canada, but if you make much money, it sounds like a good way for you to get screwed.

The church still uses the metaphor only in reference to religion, though.  The work they're referring to is the religious obligation.

That's very much the sort of thing that the original poster's girlfriend's church was referring to.


And either way, my mockery still stands.  Oxen are yoked for the purpose of doing work not to their benefit.  It's used as a metaphor in several places in the Bible, always speaking of subservience.

If you don't love her, don't marry her. You can help raise the child, but if you marry her without loving her you're just going to end up divorced anyways.

I dont really care if the child is raised christian by her. I think the best way to hate the church is experiencing it. I just dont want to get married.

You should do what it takes to get the best for your unborn child and protect yourself. Get a prenupt and secure your and your child's rights as Canadians.Good healthcare is so important to your child.The prenupt will give you room to explore  the relationship without being on the hook for anything more than than the support of the child.If it doesn't work out then you will have done the best for your child and be able to tell them latter when they're grown that you tried to do right by them and their mother.Good luck!
Thats the best advice so far Dave. Thanks!
In a way, her church will probably provide a prenup of sorts by insisting the child be raised in her faith.  Does she want to get married?  Divorce can be a terribly wrenching experience, so it seems perfectly reasonable to provide yourself with an escape hatch.  If the purpose of getting married is to allow your gf to stay in Canada, then a prenup is a simple quid pro quo.  David Parker gave you some good advice.  Secure Canadian rights for the child; you can probably do that without a shotgun wedding.  No matter what happens in your life, you will never be sorry that you tried to take care of your child.
The child and consequently the mother is your irresponsibility. If you didn't want a christian girlfriend  and child you should have thought about it before you got her pregnant. The CHILD is your main concern, you don't want another zombie walking around this planet and he is your fault. Do the right thing. About a prenuptial agreement, there is nothing more unromantic or destructive of a relationship than a predrawn exit sign. Sure it might cost you at the end, but you don't know what you have to gain with this woman. Did you just bang her for sex or did you care, or perhaps love her a bit? So look inside yourself and don't lie to yourself, the decisions you make know will follow you and your child for the rest of your lives. Give it your best shot or you will regret it.
Whoah, easy there, man.  You could pad your suggestions a little.  Despite atheist claims to rationality, we still react better to advice that isn't blended with insults.

The child is his "fault"?  Besides not necessarily being true, what a sad view you have of his situation.

"Do the right thing."?  The young man is seeking advice on the best course of action.  Marriage it NOT necessarily it.  Marriage never has, and never will, be able force two parents to become a loving couple.




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