Over in the "Why are you single?" thread, Jezzy made the most awesome suggestion that we could use a "Why should you not be single?" thread.

Not that venting is a bad thing. Most of us are here largely out of frustrations over singleness and feeling like lone atheists isolated on our little desert isles around this planet. In which case ... Sell it! Take a moment to focus on the positive! Tell us all why you're awesome and what we're missing out on by not dating you! (At which point we'll seriously need to do some more venting about how we are totally awesome yet still feel alone and isolated on our little desert isles).

Kicking things off....

My social weakness is also my strength.

Asperger's may give me all the social grace of the bumbling, comic-relief sidekick in an action comedy, but it also means what you see is what you get. Judging from the stereotypical things-about-girls-that-frustrate-guys, I believe I should come as a welcome relief. For instance...

I don't play emotional guessing games.

I literally don't know how. If I'm mad at you I'll tell you why. If I can't bring myself to tell you why, then I don't feel I have a right to be mad at you.

I don't want you to be my therapist and I'm not going to try and be yours.

We all need to cry on a shoulder once in a while. But I'm not going to make you sit through hours of needy girl gossip or cling to you every second of the day. I'm not going to call you 5 times a day while you're at work and try to micromanage your life. If you go away on a business trip, provided I don't get a ransom demand or next-of-kin call from the ER I'll assume you got there safely. I'd love to hear the good news that your meeting was a success or I'll be there for needed venting if it sucked ass. But I really don't require you to check in with me every 8 hours and assure me you aren't there for a sordid affair.

I didn't inherit the shopping gene. You're welcome.

I'm sooooo not a fashion diva and I can think of no worse torture or greater waste of my time than to spend the day shopping. With the rare exception of shopping for something big and specific, like a trip to Home Depot for a home improvement project. I *heart* tools.  

I didn't inherit the hours-spent-primping gene. You're welcome.

I will not get up at 4am and fill the bedroom with the roar of the hair dryer and competing-with-oxygen cosmetics and styling products. Nor will I refuse to let you touch me at night until I've spent an hour disassembling it all. I bathe, I run a brush through my wet hair, I put on clean clothes, and I'm pretty much good to go. 

I bring no girly hobbies to the table. 

Our lives will not be overrun with my hummel dolls or Hello Kitty collection. I will not require you to go to a chick flick with me, but I might invite you to come with me to the midnight showing of "The Avengers." Camping, hiking, motorcycles. I assume you're down with those things?

Sports is the exception. I find watching most sports boring as hell. But I like going to an occasional baseball game.

Please, please, please; do NOT buy me flowers!

"Surprise! I fixed the running lights on your motorhome and made you salmon for dinner!" says I love you far, FAR better than "Surprise! I blew a hundred bucks on something that does nothing more than look pretty and will be dead in a week!" Same goes for expensive jewelry. The $30 tribal-design necklace from the nature museum looks way cooler than the $900 diamond necklace from the mall. And you can spend the other $870 on something more useful, like a big screen TV with surround sound, which has way better odds than any frilly diamond of getting me over to your place for animal sex on the couch. 

I don't expect lavish vacations either. Though if you're filthy rich, I probably won't complain. Even so, a surprise weekend getaway at a fancy day spa; meh. Surprise weekend getaway to DragonCon; you've won my heart.

Finally, while looks aren't everything...

Sorry guys, I'm no Hollywood Hottie. But I'm not hard to look at either. The love handles are at a manageable size. But the tradeoff for inheriting mother's birthin' hips is that I also got the gene that will always make me look a decade younger than I am. I take great issue with our youth-obsessed culture, but the other end of the extreme is people who take little or no care of themselves and look 60 by the time they're 40. The shallow tabloid girl in me absolutely loves it when an actress shows up on screen who is my age and looks older than I do. Considering they get paid obscene amounts of money to look younger, I get a little snobbish-happy knowing I did it basically for free by not smoking, not drugging, taking reasonable care of myself and a little help from genetics. 

Ok folks, your turn! Tell us why we should be falling head over heels for you! 

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Replies to This Discussion

Women do not want to micromanage men's lives. Women just want to know that IF they wanted to micromanage a man's life, then he WOULD allow her to do it, even though she might not necessarily want or care about everything he does. It's a trap or test. If I, as a man am assertive and don't allow a woman to control me, then she will figure out that she had better respect my decision to read books/do activities sometimes, otherwise I'll have to find someone else. Likely, she will concede that I can sometimes do things different that what she wants me to do and/or she should not care too much about everything I do. On the other hand if I am weak and allow myself to do every single errand or activity with a woman, she will figure out that I am so weak that I am allowing her to control me and then she will loose respect for me and find anther person who acts more like a confident or assertive enough man.
I also did not inherit the girly gene, so I will not repeat what you've basically said Jo, lol.

I also seem to be looking at a bright future of youth: mother is in her late 50s...yet she looks like she's in hear early 40s! =D Course...at 21, this does not necessarily help me, as men (who are on the lookout for those adult-looking jailbaits) take extra caution in approaching me, as my body says woman, but the face says INNOCENT! ;)

I don't want children nor do I want to rush to the altar.

I can be your personal comedian!

I'm pretty effing straightforward.
I also seem to be looking at a bright future of youth: mother is in her late 50s...yet she looks like she's in hear early 40s! =D

Ironically ever since I was a child I've really loved the look of a brunette woman in her 40s or 50s with long hair and the salt-and-pepper look of graying gracefully. I just think it makes one look so cool and worldly, like the village Wise Woman.

But alas - and many people fighting the gray will hate me for this - I'll be well into my 60s before I achieve that look. Neither of my parents were more than 50% gray until they hit 80.

At 42 (yes, 42; for 6 more days I get to claim I am the answer to everything), I've started to find the very occasional stray gray hair once a month or so. And strangely, the occasional gray eyebrow hair. Weird.

Oh yeah, and add 'childless' to my list too. Let's hear it for the personal comedian girlfriends!!!
I feel so special!! :D

I inherited the girl gene. Love shopping. Love clothes. Love design. Augh. That should be in the other thread. BUT! I can keep it under control. Probably.

Again, I would like to think I'm single by choice, but here's what makes me awesome:

I get excited easily. People tend to ignore me, so a little goes a long way. I don't have a bunch of "expectations". I STILL feel guilty that my prom date bought my ticket...

I don't know what the hell dating protocol is. I try to empathetic and all, but I don't really have "rules" on what you're supposed to do or say or what is expected etc.

Y'all have probably figured out I'm not very sexual, pretty timid and all that. But I'm open. Talking about it isn't usually awkward for me (unless they're trying to actually apply it to me... if that makes sense). I also make, and laugh at, dirty jokes.

I'm understanding to a fault. If I don't like you, it can't be helped but I don't randomly drop my friends and get in huge fights. I try to actually resolve conflicts. Imagine that.

I'm independent. I don't want to use your money. If you're cool with it, that will make me feel awesomely loved, but I try to resolve my high-maintenance issues by maintaining myself.

And most importantly:
I like watching people play video games. Yeah. Grade A wife material.

But should I fear for my Hello Kitty Collection? Because HK and I have a bond that is stronger than any mental, emotional, or sexual connection I could feel with a man.
...Interpret that how you will.
I feel so special!! :D

LOL!!! That's because you are special Jezzy, and totally awesome! Many a guy here should feel preemptively jealous of your future boyfriend(s).

And for all my selling the non-girly aspect of myself, I know there are guys who really do dig that kind of thing. Some like their women dressed up and primped up, some prefer t-shirts and ratty sandals. I've known a few guys where they're the ones up at 4am pressing their fine shirts and applying product to their hair.

but I try to resolve my high-maintenance issues by maintaining myself.

Extremely well-worded. Same here. Whatever issues/baggage I have is mine, not my boyfriend's. If I need a therapist I'll hire one.
I looked up information and figured out why sex is painful for women. It is probably not your fault at all, rather the problem has to do with the man.

The way men's bodies naturally are supposed to work is that (this is graphic and frank) in order to have an orgasm, the man's male organ has to be stimulated enough. Men evolved to get most of their stimulation from the 1/3 of their male organ that is towards the tip; for non-circumcised men, they only need to make soft, gentle movements, they only have to slightly rub or ruffle their foreskin. And there is also natural lubrication that comes from under the foreskin which makes penetration easier.

With an uncircumcised man, sex is pleasant for a woman. Circumcision is a euphemism for penile mutilation, when the skin covering and protecting the glans of the penis are partially or completely removed. (It is dangerous and traumatic for babies).

The glans are supposed to be the equivalent of the clitoris; the glans are supposed to be so sensitive that a man cannot touch it directly or can barely touch it, and it is covered with skin most of the time, sort of like how you don't touch your eyeball but you can rub it by rubbing your eyelid. Getting circumcised is as bad as getting an eyelid cut off. The foreskin has a lot of nerve endings on both sides and in an adult is 12-15 square inches. When it is removed a man looses a lot of sensation in his penis, and also, since the glans are otherwise too sensitive to touch the outside environment for more than a brief time, extra layers of skin grow on it (keratinization), otherwise a male wouldn't be able to wear pants. The nerve endings become buried deeply and the glans become desensitized.

Thus a mutilated man, without realizing it, is missing most of the sensation his male organ is supposed to have. The middle and base of the penis have not much more or the same density of nerves as other not very sensitive areas of the body. Thus in order to get enough stimulation to have an orgasm or have sex well, a butchered man has to stimulate whatever remains of his penis a lot more than an intact man; thus butchered men must violently thrust their penises in and out of the woman just to get enough stimulation; sex with a butchered man is rough and almost violent, and understandably painful and unpleasant for the woman, while an intact man has a lot more nerve endings and thus only makes small, gentle movements, thus giving the woman a pleasant experience. Also, because a butchered man must make big, rough movements, his part does not stay inside the woman long enough to stimulate her to have an orgasm, but she just thinks she is the problem. Thus cutting off part of men's penises is detrimental to women as well as the man.

In the U.S, most males are butchered. In other English speaking countries the rate is decreasing significantly; only 1/6 of all men in the world are circumcised. .

Jewish boys are as thoroughly butchered as possible when they are 8 days old; this is a dirty little secret of Judaism nobody ever talks about. Maimonidies acknowledged that the purpose (at least for Jews; non-Jews keep making up various spurious kakameymi excuses) is to significantly reduce (Jewish) mens' libidos so they will focus on prayer and studying Jewish holy texts and not on women and relationships. John Kellogg promoted this in the 1800's in the U.S. in order to prevent masturbation because Victorian ideas said masturbation causes blindness and all kinds of other problems.
You're ... missing a whole hell of a lot.

If some guy doesn't think foreplay is necessary (it helps build up a woman's natural lubrication), then he's going to cause pain that way; friction is bad. And if he jumps into things too quickly, a woman's vagina isn't going to be sufficiently ... relaxed, opened, or whatever you want to call it ... by her arousal, and it will hurt her, particularly if a guy is above average in the girth department. I had a few issues with that, way back when, before I figured out what I was doing.

You start out slow, but if you want a girl to climax too, you're going to have to speed up and increase the ... violence, as you call it. If someone is hurting a girl through being too aggressive, it's probably a lubrication issue. Either he's pushing her into it too quickly, or maybe she's a bit dehydrated. I've found that that can decrease the available female lubrication. Compared to what a woman produces, the male's contribution is pretty insignificant, at least in all of the girls I've dated.

Failing everything else, grab the bottle of lube that you should have on your nightstand. There are some fantastic products out there, now. A little forethought can improve everyone's enjoyment. Personally, I'm a fan of strawberry-flavored.
Sorry to reply twice, but I read over your post again, after reading a later post in this thread, and I'm bewildered all over again. I must have just blown through your first paragraph, the first time.

I looked up information and figured out why sex is painful for women. It is probably not your fault at all, rather the problem has to do with the man.

What do you even mean about sex being painful for women? Are you talking about their first time? We know why it hurts the first time a woman has sex. There's this thing called a hymen. It breaks and it hurts.

Beyond that, where are you getting this concept that sex is painful for women? Besides wearing people out by having sex a whole bunch of times within a short period of time, I've never really encountered this. You must be doing something really wrong.
The only validity I could see to this is that an uncircumsized penis would produce smegma, so it would help with insertion, beyond that I can't think of any valid differences.
Yeah, and if you're doing things at all right, there should be quite enough lubrication from the woman that the smegma would be like spitting in a cup that's already full of water. Smegma shouldn't play much of a role, if there's any foreplay.
Plus you'll probably be wearing a condom anyway, which would negate it.
Yeah, but I'm claustrophobic, and there are other methods of birth control. Don't run around sleeping with anything that moves, and get everyone fully tested beforehand, and you're good.

I've used them before, but it really sucks.




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