Over in the "Why are you single?" thread, Jezzy made the most awesome suggestion that we could use a "Why should you not be single?" thread.

Not that venting is a bad thing. Most of us are here largely out of frustrations over singleness and feeling like lone atheists isolated on our little desert isles around this planet. In which case ... Sell it! Take a moment to focus on the positive! Tell us all why you're awesome and what we're missing out on by not dating you! (At which point we'll seriously need to do some more venting about how we are totally awesome yet still feel alone and isolated on our little desert isles).

Kicking things off....

My social weakness is also my strength.

Asperger's may give me all the social grace of the bumbling, comic-relief sidekick in an action comedy, but it also means what you see is what you get. Judging from the stereotypical things-about-girls-that-frustrate-guys, I believe I should come as a welcome relief. For instance...

I don't play emotional guessing games.

I literally don't know how. If I'm mad at you I'll tell you why. If I can't bring myself to tell you why, then I don't feel I have a right to be mad at you.

I don't want you to be my therapist and I'm not going to try and be yours.

We all need to cry on a shoulder once in a while. But I'm not going to make you sit through hours of needy girl gossip or cling to you every second of the day. I'm not going to call you 5 times a day while you're at work and try to micromanage your life. If you go away on a business trip, provided I don't get a ransom demand or next-of-kin call from the ER I'll assume you got there safely. I'd love to hear the good news that your meeting was a success or I'll be there for needed venting if it sucked ass. But I really don't require you to check in with me every 8 hours and assure me you aren't there for a sordid affair.

I didn't inherit the shopping gene. You're welcome.

I'm sooooo not a fashion diva and I can think of no worse torture or greater waste of my time than to spend the day shopping. With the rare exception of shopping for something big and specific, like a trip to Home Depot for a home improvement project. I *heart* tools.  

I didn't inherit the hours-spent-primping gene. You're welcome.

I will not get up at 4am and fill the bedroom with the roar of the hair dryer and competing-with-oxygen cosmetics and styling products. Nor will I refuse to let you touch me at night until I've spent an hour disassembling it all. I bathe, I run a brush through my wet hair, I put on clean clothes, and I'm pretty much good to go. 

I bring no girly hobbies to the table. 

Our lives will not be overrun with my hummel dolls or Hello Kitty collection. I will not require you to go to a chick flick with me, but I might invite you to come with me to the midnight showing of "The Avengers." Camping, hiking, motorcycles. I assume you're down with those things?

Sports is the exception. I find watching most sports boring as hell. But I like going to an occasional baseball game.

Please, please, please; do NOT buy me flowers!

"Surprise! I fixed the running lights on your motorhome and made you salmon for dinner!" says I love you far, FAR better than "Surprise! I blew a hundred bucks on something that does nothing more than look pretty and will be dead in a week!" Same goes for expensive jewelry. The $30 tribal-design necklace from the nature museum looks way cooler than the $900 diamond necklace from the mall. And you can spend the other $870 on something more useful, like a big screen TV with surround sound, which has way better odds than any frilly diamond of getting me over to your place for animal sex on the couch. 

I don't expect lavish vacations either. Though if you're filthy rich, I probably won't complain. Even so, a surprise weekend getaway at a fancy day spa; meh. Surprise weekend getaway to DragonCon; you've won my heart.

Finally, while looks aren't everything...

Sorry guys, I'm no Hollywood Hottie. But I'm not hard to look at either. The love handles are at a manageable size. But the tradeoff for inheriting mother's birthin' hips is that I also got the gene that will always make me look a decade younger than I am. I take great issue with our youth-obsessed culture, but the other end of the extreme is people who take little or no care of themselves and look 60 by the time they're 40. The shallow tabloid girl in me absolutely loves it when an actress shows up on screen who is my age and looks older than I do. Considering they get paid obscene amounts of money to look younger, I get a little snobbish-happy knowing I did it basically for free by not smoking, not drugging, taking reasonable care of myself and a little help from genetics. 

Ok folks, your turn! Tell us why we should be falling head over heels for you! 

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Replies to This Discussion

lolz. I may need that sticker. :)
Well, I seem to have been cursed with the (otherwise not so bad) complementary problems of both being of only marginally good appearence, and liking girls from the rather unlikely age of Kindergarten. (While, we have all had crushes across our life, I seem to be about 10 years ahead of myself in this regard. In retrospect, the ideas about love I had in Kindergarten were those you might expect from an early adolescent. And now, I value commitment, and seriousness, both of which are a bit "ahead" of people my age.) So, I have definitely had my experience with crushes. Not a single one has ever worked out, and no matter how elaborate the schemes by which I deluded myself into believing myself to being truly in love, the retrospective application of scrutiny, have always revealed themselves as mere naieve infatuation. Now that I'm more learned, I scrutinize every "crush" (and pretty much most of my thoughts) that I have with the most rigourous application of logos (can you tell I'm a philosopher?), BEFORE I become infatuated. Interestingly, as this occurs time and time again, I've descended (ascended?) to a level where idealizing crushes are non-existent.

By the way, I don't like this atmosphere where people see love as some great mystery, and that it should be kept that way. I think that this is precisely the reason we have the highest divorce rate, etc. People idealize their relationship, then when it doesn't work because of their unrealistic expectations, they negatively idealize it, retrospectively. These approaches are outright foolish; l sincerely believe that all endeavors -- relationships with significant others and friends particularly -- should be subject to scrutiny, and for that matter, open and widely discussed scrutiny. In other words, to use the popular "skyhook/crane" analogy, the prevalent attitude is that love is a kind of skyhook (you can thank "true love at first sight" stories for this ridiculous idea), where the lovers, soon after "officiating" the relationship, are transported to some magical realm of ecstatic romance. Sic vita est. In reality, I believe relationships of that kind ONLY work out if they start as friendships. In other words, friendships act as a crane, to do the slow and gradual lifting work, to build the foundation of trust, etc. the absence of which is the cause of most relationships' failure.

Unfortunately, I'm a minority holding this view (actually, as far as I know, the only person). For some reason, people think it's more important to date someone who's a virtual stranger, and that friends are "off limits". Absurd, really, if you think about it.
I had a crush on this boy named "Kyle S." in first grade (there were two Kyles I guess).

...And I have 5 older brothers right?

So I wrote in my little school journal, "I love Kyle S. so much I could SLEEP WITH HIM".

Imagine my picking that up 10 years later. My brothers deny they caused this, they say if it were them it would be much worse.
Wait, what?
My brothers are just a bad influence is all.

Did that whole thing make no sense? I do that...
LOL Well, it's composed entirely of grammatical English sentences, in logically consistent paragraphs. Didn't understand a word, though, and IDK why not. :P
I think what she's saying is that she wrote that message in her journal, when she was younger. She doesn't remember having written that about him, and it confused her. So, she asked her brothers about it, if they had planted that in her journal. They said that if they were going to do something like that, it would have been something far more perverse.
Oh, I get it now. LOL Thanks.
Well, I seem to have been cursed with the (otherwise not so bad) complementary problems of both being of only marginally good appearence, and liking girls from the rather unlikely age of Kindergarten.

Nah, I did the same thing. I was chasing after girls starting in kindergarten, too. I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do once I caught one, but I was interested.

Actually, I 'dated' more in elementary school than I did in middle school and high school, combined. It didn't help that I moved right between 5th and 6th grade, right around when puberty was kicking in. I didn't really get back into the dating pool until after all of the high school bullshit was done with.

Unfortunately, I'm a minority holding this view (actually, as far as I know, the only person). For some reason, people think it's more important to date someone who's a virtual stranger, and that friends are "off limits". Absurd, really, if you think about it.

Nope, right with you there, too. I mean I have female friends with whom there's no romantic component and never could be, but the best relationships are with people who are also friends without the romantic component.
Well, I mean, I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't a friend first. Ever. And probably a pretty good friend who I already knew a lot about, at that. LOL
Eh, I wouldn't limit myself like that, though. You can get in your warm fuzzies while you're getting to know someone, as long as she's someone you'd like as a friend, too.



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