i look in the mirror and hate my reflection
damn this depression is a damn infection
suicide yea the thought be temptin'
....damn im giving in to surrenderin'
so the mirror i smash then laugh
shit...wish i could find my own path
shit...i wish i'd be burried butt up so they can kiss my ass
vicodin and liquor has my ass angry and smashed
i went from a hip hopper to a rockabilly greaser
then i went to school in the burbs and discovered freedom...shit was easier
lookin for work to get to the burbs im so damn eager
and college......but im imbarresed for not being a "pleaser"
im a 21 year old virgin imagine never making out
never had a girl, that comes up then my anger pop's out
figure,got no confidence, then comes contemplating blowing my brains out
but instead i knock over a table and scream and shout
run out the front door at 1 in the morning
hopefully a ghetto fuck kills me,there will be no mourning :(
this rage is tipping the scale its soaring
take 20 sleeping pills hoping i dont wake up the next morning
but thats me i hope it aint you
.....i cant imagine someone going through what im going through
lately i feel im gonna go out fataly,it may sound silly but i cant take it i mean really,shit all i got is heavy metal and rockabilly/i mean people assume im racist, shit its hard to face this i hate this,shit i aint no racist but im a atheist to all you closeted jesus freak racists/ have u ever felt depression, have u ever dealt with so much rage and tension that you feel like takin em and suplexem em not to mention endin' up in a center of detention.../ im 21 and im done.....shit i cry,shit i run,shit i feel like grabbing this gun and ending myself and some....people,maybe i'll take out a fucking ton/ yea im white trash,yea im poor,never been with a girl im debating on picking up a whore...but then the tears pore,these feeling i can no longer ignore....bullet to my brain and i land on the floor/ the ambulance people say oh he was a nut case.....i just hope my hair aint out of place....place....