I'm a 49-going-on-50 androgynously identified, polyamorous pansexual. I live in rural Vermont, USA within view of the Green Mountains with my partner, two cats, lots of plants, and even more dust mites.
I came out bisexual around 21. That's about twenty-eight years now. It wasn't a big formal coming out, and I didn't tell everyone... just when it came up in conversation. It was not well received by some of my acquaintances, friends, and family.
In the early 80s, some women in leftist activist circles had become political lesbians. What I mean by "political lesbians" is that they felt that, because of a long history of misogyny, they should only have relationships with women. "Political lesbians" are not to be confused with actual lesbians. So, I got shunned by that group.
Around the late 80s, I started reading "Dykes To Watch Out For
" by Alison Bechdel
. In one strip, a character was wearing a BiNet shirt. That was the first that I'd heard of this organization. I was excited! So, I did some research, found it, found that there were some women trying to organize a BiNet Vermont, and got involved.
Of course, the women who were helping start the group moved to Seattle (is Seattle still a bisexual Mecca?), and I moved to Maine. Briefly got involved in doing some bi organizing. Moved back to Vermont.
I've been identifying as pansexual for a while now. I define that as being attracted to people who don't just fall within the Big Two Gender Binary. I've found some bi people only are attracted to girly girls and macho men, which is why I made the label change. I generally have to elaborate on what I find attractive emotionally/intellectually/physically anyhow, or explain the being bisexual or pansexual isn't just about sex.
When I'm in gay and lesbian groups, I identify as bisexual, just for the visibility. When I'm in bi groups, I identify as pansexual, just because it's most accurate.
Good to see so many people here, and hope that the group continues to grow!