I was wondering if anyone had found themselves praying or crying out to god in a time of desperation. I am 26 now, have been skpetical since I was a child, and officially an athiest for a couple of years. However, a couple of months ago, I had my son, and after only being home one day I was told to rush to the hospital because my son's bilirubin levels were critical. He had a bad case of jaundice. Being the person that I am, I researched the effects of jaundice on the internet and within moments was bombarded with the ill effects of jaundice--brain damage, retardation, deafness, etc. I was devastated, and I must admit that even though I am totally embarrased about it now, I prayed. Since then I have wondered what that act made me... a hypocrit? I don't know. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

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Yes, yes and Yes.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  And I hope your son is well

Have you never done it?

I have done it which I why I said yes 3 times :)  It is hard to get over something you've lived with for years; I'm not one of those who was always skeptical. I mean I was, at the same time I was emotionally committed to believing.

Oh!!! I thought you were saying yes yes yes to me being a hypocrit which i thought was kind of harsh. Lol.
LOL oh no sorry for the misunderstanding.
Nothing quite so acute with me but I recall 2 times I may very well have been in a bad accident where I had the god program assert itself briefly. I did not crash. God is still a pipe dream. It takes years for bad programs to purge in my case. This is why it gets embedded before the age of reason. If god was taught after the age where reason sets in, the idea would be cashiered instantly. Atheism is the software upgrade however.
Don't be embarrassed! In many ways, there is reason to celebrate because your concern for your child drove you to a learned behavior. It is the no atheists in fox holes argument, but it is not necessarily backsliding. When we are desperate, we do things we would never consider under normal circumstances. I'd pray to Donald Duck if I thought he could help. On the other hand, this to shall pass. It is difficult to escape early indoctrination without a conscious aggressive effort. Normally, we are introduced to religion at a time in our lives when we are defenseless and depend upon others to guide us. Many parents think it is the right thing to do until they see what it does to their children. You will backslide again until your new shoes get comfortable. Last summer, I found out I had cancer. It crossed my mind to pray, but I already knew how much good that would do me. So, it was nothing more than a thought that was rejected nearly as soon as I thought it. I know it only crossed my mind because I was born an baptized Catholic, attended Catholic school, went to church six days a week and had catechism classes everyday. It was difficult to overcome but by college it was over. Hang tough.
Yes, I have. It usually happens when the situation seems hopeless but I quickly get over it.

Honey, yes!!!!  I have done it a couple of times.  Old habits die hard.  Heck, I still say "Jesus" every once and a while.  Like if i am shocked for some reason.  It's ok to backslide in a time of despair, as you called it!  As long as you know, the real deal.


It's perfectly natural, like grabbing a straw when you're drowning. Even when you know it won't help, at least you know it won't hurt and it gives you something to do.




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