I heard this question on The Steve Harvey Project, lastnight.


Can a man love 2 women at once?  Anyone have an opinion on that?

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Of course not!


Each of us only has a certain amount of love that they have available to share.


This is why when a man gets married, he can no longer love his mother, and if he has a daughter, his wife loses out on being loved, and if he has a second daughter, too bad for the first.


OK sarcasm off - hopefully that illustrates the absurdity of the question.


Why do people think that ONE kind of love is only available in single doses, while other kinds are allegedly limitless?


I know many men, including myself, who have romantic love for more than one woman at a time.  The biggest challenge is that it is not 'allowed' in mainstream society so folks usually end up either repressing it or expressing it in deceptive ways.

Well put Ken.
Yes, but then again I also believe one woman can love two men at once.  Polyamory is perfectly natural with the human condition.  However as Ken mentioned societal conditioning is firmly opposed to it.
Christopher - I forgot to add that it goes the other way too.  Thanks for mentioning it.

I agree, I think it is possible!  I have a friend that was in a poligamist marriage.  Hell, to each it's own, yanno.  But, I was watching The Steve Harvey Project and the women on the show said "no".  Steve Harvey said "yes".  He should know, lol.  Seeing the drama I have heard about him, lately.  lol. 


Ken, lol.  Right!!!!  The notion that a man get's married and he can no longer love is mother, crazy right!  I remember being in church and hearing how some men pushed their mother's to the wayside because of their new wife.  Because it was the Christian thing to do.


I think due to some of us being raised Christian, we still look at things like poligamy and multiple relationships as a taboo.  However, I say, as long as all adults in the relationships are aware of and accepting of the circumstances...to each it's own.

Looking at it from biological angle, ideally, a man is expected to pregnate as many women as possible to increase the chances of producing offsprings that can best survive the extremities of existence on planet Earth. That probably explains why men produce millions of sperm cells per day and women produce just one egg every other month, in the average.

Similarly, in terms of biological evolution mechanism, a woman need to sleep with different men rather than attaching herself to just a particular male, doing so would inevitably increase the chances of producing children with higher survival instincts.

However, social norms and ofcourse the pressure from religious hypocritical ethics tend to repress these biological rules, and are in defiance with our biological hardwired make-up, we tend to encourage and promote monogamy and project it as a natural human sexual behaviour. However, just as we cannot cheat nature, nature has its own way to turn the table against us each time we pretend to  change the game plan.

The results are that we have not allowed natural selection to come to play fully and this has consequently reduced our survival ratings as a race. The effects may not be too apparent today  as modern science has allowed some otherwise 'rejects' to survive in the population. However, if an unknown viral disease from outer space befalls the human race, we may be doomed to a total extinction.

OMG, lol.  So well put Danladi.  Do you mind if I copy and paste this to my facebook.  I can leave your name out, if you would prefer that. 

Navita, Go ahead. You can also add my name of you care.

(Found this discussion while searching for something else in AN. :)

Being fruitful and multiplying and multiplying and multiplying isn't the be-all and end-all of human existence. Yes, traits that help genes' and memes' survival have an advantage, but we, with our thinking and feeling brains, aren't completely ruled by our evolutionary history.

And we've co-evolved with our tools (think textiles, eyeglasses, insulin and other medicines) and our memes (such as family and social structures). Survival doesn't mean an individual human dropped off in a distant jungle.

The biggest problem I can see with larger sexual relationships is the time people want you to spend with them outside of sex.  There just isn't enough time in the day to please everyone, nor do we possess the will to please everyone.

Presumably your lovers will have other lovers of their own that they'll want to spend time with. And yes, in successful polyamorous relationships, scheduling is hopefully the biggest challenge. :) I do find it incredibly freeing that nobody's expecting me to be their "everything", or that they need to be my "everything".


(Despite the still picture of "Adam and Steve" (Adam and Yves?), most of the individual relationships described are between a woman and a man.)

Trying to love two, it ain't easy to do--old school lyrics. This is one of those think about it questions. First reaction? Of course he can, but would they allow it? Of course he could if one didn't know of the other. As you can see, there is already a problem. There are many types and depths of love and in any instance one or more may or may not be at work. Loving two woman that are in accord is not difficult--at least not at first. The mind always looks for explanations and in the process makes comparative evaluations that may or may not be true. Followed to it's logical ends usually means one woman or both are dumped. Sneaking with two women has the same risk and once a choice is made, it is just as likely to be wrong as right. For the sturdy of constitution, loving two women can be heaven on earth for all involved, but in can be hell in figuring the details. Doing it on the down-low is a recipe for disaster. However, doing it as a family tends to offer benefits to all, but mostly for the women and not for the man who seems to be the obvious beneficiary. Two women can be friends and help each other get things done including giving the other woman a breather from "him." Most men will find they've bitten off more than they can chew in a number of ways. Sexually, we believe we could get the job done and we probably could for awhile, but when the lust wears off and duty sets in, the fun becomes a task. Listening to two women could lead to an early death after jumping from a fifth-floor window. Perhaps, bragging rights could keep him going, but I doubt it. Trying to love two would indeed be love, a lot of work and friendship. Lovin' and screwin' are two totally different propositions. I say it can be done, but with stipulations.




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