I would appreciate hearing opinions and thoughts regarding the recent article by relationship expert and journalist, Deborah Cooper of The San Francisco Examiner. Link http://survivingdating.com/black-churches-how-black-churches-keep-a...


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I'm feeling deja vu, must check previous discussions. While Ms Cooper does communicate an important message, one wonders about where she is coming from with a book title called "Sucka Free Love!" Perhaps it is necessary to act ignorant to communicate with the ignorant, but I can't help being cynical.
I read this earlier last month. It has some great points mixed in with some poor generalizations, but I agree with the article.
I agree about the mixed bag "logic" in the piece.

One point that resonates with me though is that while all the good church sistahs are waiting/hiding for Mr. Right, they are keepin' busy doing all that "free labor" for the congregation and providing $ for the pastor/minister/bishop/whomever.


(sorta like undercover polyygny)
I don't know if it helps, but I certainly can see how it hinders. Men are funny creatures in that when it comes to relationships, we don't like second place even to make believe. My agnostic base has not one thing to do with this stance. I find a lot of things attractive in women such as intelligence, humor, loyalty, the ability to share, character and of course--cash! I like independent women. Women that think for themselves and a Christian woman, no matter her denial, does not think for herself if she is truly a Christian. The Bible speaks specifically against thinking for one's self. All I see is an agenda floating my way and it is an agenda I will not like. I am not a fan of magical thinking and in today's world, I see it as a handicap, but that's just me. Of course, I wouldn't want a pagan priestess at least for any length of time, but women with depth of their own, ideas of their own and dreams of their own. Actually, it is a woman that doesn't need me except for whatever voids I might fill in her life and as a companion, friend and person to be with. That's all. Rules and regulations are not my strong suit when it comes to religion. If other black men are like me, then I can see very well how the church might be a major turn off.
As adults, some women and men want to be single. It's that simple.
No church exists without the biological, artistic and vocational productivity of human beings.
No surprises here.
Heck yeah!  I think so.  I hear so many sistaz say "jesus is my man".  wtf.  Then they expect some brotha to wait on sex.  Wait until they are married.  I had a friend that everytime her and her boyfriend had sex (after days of coaxing her) she would cry like a hooka in church!!!  Imeediately after the act.  He was so turned off by it.  He stopped asking her for it.  He slepted behind her back until they were married.  But most men, don't stick around long enough for a marriage to occur.  They run for the hills.


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